Silences

Hi Lesley, Im so sorry to read about your husband. Its very early days for you and your head will be all over the place.

I put the radio or tv a lot more than I used to as I find it helps with the silence. 

New normal? One hour one day at a time. Its good you have family with you. Im 6 months since my husband died, and I havent got used to a new normal. I dont like this life and its a huge amount of time and energy.

Try not to expect too much of yourself, eat when you can, tackle tasks like paperwork one bit at a time. If you have something like a hobby helps, try to do it, as its something familar.

In case you have seen it yet, there is a bereaved spouse forum, there are quite a few of us over there, we all get it and we are supportive of each other. 

Big hugs x

LesleyHop,  I am sorry to hear about the loss of your husband and I am not surprised you are struggling.  Grief is a lengthy and complicated process and becomes easier over time in some ways and not in others.

When my partner of 27 years died 2 years ago I could not bear noise and in some ways silence was comforting so we are all different in what we find troubling and what we appreciate.   I didn't start watching movies or listening to music for over 6 months.

I had to force myself to leave the house and spend time with friends and I did so only because I knew it was good for me, not because my heart was in it.  I appreciated being with friends, and they were very caring, but it was exhausting for me.  Having previously enjoyed being with others I unexpectedly turned into a hermit.

In our grief we have to get used to previously unknown parts of ourselves and this is hard.  It is hard to predict the pattern of grief - I have found the second anniversary of my partner's death more difficult than the first 2 years which surprised me.   Other people I know found the first 6 months to be the most difficult.   Being more at peace with your new normal will likely take time and will arrive when you are ready.

In the meantime, take care and accept all help offered.