Hi all,
I have just joined up here heart broken. I lost my mum last week, even though after 2 years of her pain and battle and how strong she was, I knew what would happen in the end but still cannot accept it’s finally happened.
Every day I wake up with such a feeling of loss and loneliness. She came to live with me when we found out about her illness and I looked after her and cared for her right until her last breath.
My 2 children were such a support, I couldn’t have done this without them, but still I don’t know how to live without my mum, when I just want to reach out to speak to her or hug her like I used too.
Im in such emotional pain.
Hi Angel
Welcome to the Online Community.
I am so sorry to hear about your Mum and I appreciate that it is a very difficult time for you. I am glad that you have reached out on here for some support.
The emotional pain you are feeling sounds very normal. When I lost my own Mum to cancer many years ago my emotions were all over the place. I hope that in time you can find some comfort in that you were able to care for her at your home and looked after her right to the end.
Naturally after caring for a loved one through her illness it is natural to feel a sense of loss and loneliness. Even when surrounded by supportive family and friends the loss has still happened. I can understand the yearning to have one last hug and to talk to her one last time. Even when a loss is expected, it is still hard to process. We knew our Mum did not have a good prognosis but it still hit hard when the end came.
Talking to others can help and also trying to keep to some routines during the early days helped us. We all still dealt with things in different ways. Things like getting up at the same time and eating regularly will help. Even though you may not feel like it initially. I found going for walks in the fresh air helped. Also to accept that all these emotions you may be feeling at the moment are normal and to be expected.
Thinking back my initial emotion was numbness- I think it can help to deal with the initial pain. I also felt sad, emotional, teary, angry and one minute I would feel up and then the next feel overwhelmed. I also felt very tired and needed to rest. My advice would be to just go with the flow a bit and talk to those around you.
We do have the Macmillan Support Line that is available from 8am-8pm daily if it would help to talk things through with someone outside of it all. I know for myself sometimes I did not want to talk to those closest as I did not want to worry or upset them.
I also found Cruse helpful.
We are here when you need us so please do let us know if there is anything you need.
Jane
That’s lovely thankyou Jane 
