Feeling Angry

Hi Affie

I am sorry to hear that today has been a bad day.

My experience of grief is that it can come in waves and ebb and flow. There were lots of different emotions and anger, at times, was one of them. It is a natural emotion and I know I felt angry/frustrated at the cancer- it felt it wasn't fair, why my family........

When I felt like that I tended to need some time to myself and would go off for a long walk in nature. The fresh air helped and just hearing all the sounds of the birds, breeze etc. The physical tiredness afterwards also helped. Sometimes writing down how you feel and then screwing up the paper and throwing it away can help some people. 

if it would help to talk then do give the Support Line a call. I also found Cruse helpful. 

Jane

Affie,  I too am sorry to hear anger has arrived and you don't know what to do with it.  It is a natural response to being bereaved but it is not always welcome and can feel odd alongside sadness which everyone expects to happen.

What do you normally do when you are angry?  Some people run, walk fast, play sport, do cleaning, dance to music - any activity to help cope with the unwanted feeling.  I manage by tidy up things that are untidy and spend time in the garden and I can talk to certain friends although not all.

Most of us are relatively true to type when we have certain experiences and responses but of course the loss of a significant person, in your case a daughter too young to lose her life, is like no other experience and it can be hard to find the best way of dealing with uncomfortable feelings.

It is usual to have a range of feelings at different stages post-bereavement but if you feel stuck in any one phase and feel unsupported then you could consider seeking professional help to enable you to understand the source of your anger and better manage it.

Take care and when you can, focus on the special person that your daughter was and the good things she brought to your life and find ways of keeping her close in you memory.  Christine