Trying to get my head around my mum’s passing

Hi Tazraz welcome to the forum..I lost my mum a few years ago now in very similar circumstances re the short timeframe so I can totally relate to the sense of shock and loss you will be feeling. Do you think it might help you re that last few days with your mum which sound really traumatic to talk to someone and see what may be available for you in respect of either Bereavemt Support or Counselling. I had both. I am  Not sure how you feel about that? You can give the Macmillan Line a call and have a chat with someone there if you felt that may help? 08088080000.. Even after all the time that has passed for me I would love to just have 5 minutes with my mum to hear her voice or chat to her. But, 5 minutes would never be enough for either of us. Just remember it's OK to not be ok and you will find your way through but never forget your mum may not be here in person but she will be forever in your heart. Sending some huge big hugs your way

 Xxx Gail xxxx

Thank you for your kind words and sorry for the loss of your dear mum too. I think it would help to talk to a bereavement therapist because it was all very traumatic. I feel shocked every time I think about it all. I want to remember the happy times eventually but I know it’s early days. 

Hugs back xxx

My mum died last year and she went through terrible trauma and hallucinations in hospital, plus very poor care until the end of life team came in. I cannot get over it. I wrote a 16 page letter about our experience in the hospital, and sent it to the hospital and cqc in the hope that someone else might not go through this. It helped me to write it all down. They have actually taken it as a complaint, although it wasn’t meant as an official complaint. It probably should’ve been anyway. It might help you too to write down how you feel, what upset you, things you wanted to say to your mum. With my dad who died the year before, eosophageal cancer, I had the chance to write a letter to him, which he got to read. I wish I had got to write my mum one, to say all the things I would’ve liked to say to her.Even if you don’t send it to anyone, try writing things down. I’m so sorry you are going through this. 

Thank you for your reply and I’m sorry for your loss. I think perhaps writing something down will help. I know it’s going to take time and it is early days still. It’s all the IFs and ANDs that play around in my head as well as wishing I could go back in time and change something. I guess I just need to come to terms with it and let myself heal. 

Hello lovely - my mum passed a few weeks ago from small cell bladder cancer. we also had the absolutely dreadful lead up - mum was in hospital in enormous amounts of pain and kidney failure, also with delirium which was heart breaking. I also feel winded, and just can not fathom how fast it all happened at the end. I hope you are starting to heal slowly, but rest assured you are not alone, sending loads of hugs your way, Jenna xx