I miss my Dad so much

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My Dad passed away in March this year after a very short battle with cancer. He had only found out he had cancer in December and by the time he found out it was already in his liver, stomach, lymph nodes and brain. 

I cared for my Dad from the day we found out. The week he found out he was advised out of a 100 people with cancer like his only 50 of them would see four weeks. It was devastating to watch him having to deal with the realisation that he didn’t have much time left. As his vision got worse he tried to hide the extent from me. He didn’t want me to worry. That was the kind of man he was always thinking about other people. 

He was so ill through the night I had to phone an ambulance. He was taken to hospital where they realised he had a blockage in his stomach and he decided to have the op to prolong his life. Then two days after he went to hospital we were given the news that he was too ill to go through with any op as he had aspiration pneumonia and that there was nothing else they could do for him. He passed a week later. Was horrendous to watch. The pain he went through because they couldn’t get his pain under control until the palliative care nurse was able to sort his medication and he slipped away.

I’ll never forgot that week in the hospital with my Dad. I can’t get it out my head. The vision of his lying in that bed and the noises. I’m really struggling just now. I miss him so much. I never imagined living in a world with him not in it.