I lost my Mum in January. Her cancer returned towards the end of last year, after her initial cancer in 2020. I also lost my Dad to cancer in 2014. I am in the midst of clearing their home - my childhood home. As more items are removed it is becoming more of a shell now. I feel sad and it’s hit me this weekend that I feel a little bit lost. Now, my health seems to be suffering now. I think everything is just catching up with me, which is hardly surprising. Whilst my Mum was poorly, I hardly took any time off work - I wanted to maintain some kind of normality but I resent that a little bit now and am questioning my role in general. I feel an overwhelming sense of freedom but not sure what to do with the time and space I now have, even though I have a very long list of things I would like to do. I had given up a lot of my time in recent years to support my Mum. I need to find myself again, but I’m not really sure where to start. I’m not very good at putting myself first - but I suppose I can now.
I am waiting for counselling from the hospice who cared for my Mum - the waiting list is long, but I do feel that it would be useful for me now x
