Struggling with the Christmas period…

Hello Poll177,

I know exactly how you are feeling. I am a 21 year old, who lost her Mam last October, and honestly I still struggle daily with her absence. Like your Dad, my Mam absolutely adored Christmas and did everything in her power to make it special for me and my brother. Last Christmas was my first one without her and honestly it just felt very empty, but everything was so incredibly raw still. I thought that this Christmas may be a little bit brighter but it has remained the same as last year, if not worse because it has been longer since I have spoken to her. It sometimes feels so overwhelming imagining holidays and birthdays without that one person who made it so special to you, but like you, I know that my Mam would have wanted me to make the absolute most out of each Christmas, even though it is so difficult to do. I try to imagine that she is living through me and therefore I have to enjoy the festive season for her and not just for me. I wish I could tell you that a year on it feels easier, but losing a parent is so daunting, especially when you are in this stage of life. I spoke to my Mam about everything, whether it was a problem big or small, or just to have a natter and a coffee while I told her about the drama at school etc. I cannot help but miss those mornings talking to her and find myself speaking out loud to her even now, or writing notes to her, in the hopes that she is listening or reading them. I hope you have as lovely a Christmas as you can and am wishing you all the best during this extremely hard time. You've got this. Xx

I'm so sorry for your loss.  I'm in the same position, sadly.  My dad died last month  and I am dreading Christmas.  I can't bear to watch Christmas adverts, hear songs, people's plans for the festive season and so on. I just want to bury my head in the sand. My brother has learning disabilities though, and I still need to make some sort of effort for him. It's so very hard. X