After a number of delays, I was finally able to visit Dad in the Chapel of Rest, ahead of his funeral on Wednesday.
I think it helped, although hard to be sure at the moment. He looked like Dad, but so much younger, oddly. He looked peaceful and well, if that makes sense. I suppose it's because he's no longer in pain.
I held his hand, chatted a bit and put some photos and letters in his coffin.
The thing I'm struggling with is that this is the last time I'll ever see him, and it feels like a physical pain in my heart. We were so close, and I looked after him for so long; I don't know how i'm going to carry on.
I'm absolutely dreading his funeral. I don't think I will get through it.
Hi Diane DB
It’s hard I know, but ultimately I hope you will feel better for having spent some time with your dad. I can identify with that physical pain-my dad died when I was living abroad, so I had to come home to know that my dad was already gone, which I found really tough- I was only 21.
I was very young then, I’m 62 now, but the funeral was definitely very hard. I could not believe I would never see him again, but I’m glad now that I saw him before the funeral, otherwise I might have found it even harder to accept. I kissed his forehead, I spoke with him and it helped, although it may not seem like that for you now. I got through the funeral in a mist of tears, but I did it. I wanted him to be proud of me, to understand I did the best I could.
I’m so sorry for your loss-this is one of the hardest things we ever have to go through.
Sarah xx
