Grief , emptiness ,heartache

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Hello everyone ,it’s with a heavy heart I share with you that we lost our  daughter in July this year and held her funeral only on Wednesday this week. 
it’s so wrong , and in the wrong order . If I could have swapped places I would have done so but this nasty disease didn’t give her a chance ! 
I thought we were doing ok but today has been like falling off a cliff! Why our darling daughter,  why why ?

We miss her so so much. 
A parent should never lose a child .we have experienced grief and loss of our own parents but they had all lived a full life , this is just absolutely heartbreaking. Our daughter didn’t get that opportunity, her life was cut short , so unfair ! 
What coping mechanisms do you all have ? 

  • Hi Kegs welcome to the forum and I am so deeply sad and sorry to hear this news. I cannot even begin to  find words that would remotely be of any use right now so Im sending sincere and heartfelt  condolences to you and your family for now. xxx

    gail

     
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  • Hi there, I just wanted to say that I am thinking about you at this incredibly difficult time. It must be the worse pain ever. I have two adult children, and cannot imagine your suffering. Sending strength and kind thoughts.

  • Hello!

    I am so sorry for your loss my condolences to you and your family. It is a lot harder I think when a child passes before a parent and you will be right to keep asking yourself why. Cancer doesn't care who it takes doesn't matter who you are what you are or where you're from if it wants you it will have you. I lost my husband last June (2023) to bowel cancer after he fought it hard for almost 2 years. Almost 15 months on and the grief is just hitting me now I think in the first year you are just on autopilot and going with the flow. My husband had just passed and two months later my older sister got a bowel cancer diagnosis but thankfully hers was caught in the very early stages and it was simply just taking her in cutting out her tumour which was very small and she had no need for post chemo or radiotherapy. Grief is a funny thing you will get no two days the same. There will be days you just feel you don't want to get out bed I was like that at the beginning but I have a little dog who needs to be walked and fed so he is my reason for now for getting up in the morning. You will find your own way to cope with this eventually and have good and bad days. I still do. I try to keep as active as possible but you still have that `empty feeling` at times as if something is missing. My sister has learning difficulties so she needs me for certain things and I look after my granddaughter occasionally and have gone back to the gym again. This was something my husband and I did together he got a diabetes diagnosis just before his cancer symptoms surfaced so we started an exercise programme at out local sports centre and it helped but then Covid happened and that all stopped and it was just after he got his cancer diagnosis. I was unable to cry for my husband at the beginning which I thought wasn't normal when he was going through his treatment I thought I would never stop but just recently I have been having little outbursts there and it helps just to get it all out it's as though it is something that I have been waiting for to happen and when it does I feel just that little bit better. As I say you will find your own way through this there is no right or wrong way for grieving. My best wishes to you in moving forward. Take Care.

    Vicky x