Hi all,
This is my first ever post to the MacMillan online community.
My Dad was diagnosed 1 year ago with stage IV stomach cancer which has sadly spread to his liver and surrounding lymph nodes.
Up until recently, Dad had been coping extremely well with palliative chemo. In the past couple of weeks, he has gone downhill very quickly: his appetite has declined rapidly, he is weak and unsteady on his feet, unable to perform basic daily activities, sleeping much more and has now turned completely yellow from the jaundice. It all seems to be happening very fast and I’m really struggling to accept that this is likely the beginning of the end.
In the simplest of terms: I’m not ready to lose my Dad.
I’d always imagined that he would be around to walk me down the aisle or to be a grandad to my future children one day.
It breaks my heart to think that he won’t be here for those experiences.
I’m trying so hard to be strong for him and to support my Mum, who is understandably totally devastated.
I have no idea what to expect as we journey into this next stage. I’m trying to prepare myself as much as possible so that I can provide the best support to my Mum.
My work haven’t been particularly supportive but I am contemplating getting signed off soon to cherish the time we have remaining together as a family.
Are there any things you wish you had known before your loved one entered their final weeks? Is there anything specific I can be doing to help him remain comfortable / ease his anxiety? Dad has been amazingly strong ever since his diagnosis but I do think he is in some level of denial as to what is now happening. I don’t want to frighten him but I also want him to have a say in any wishes he may have etc.
My heart is breaking piece by piece and I can’t begin to imagine a world without him in it.
My heartfelt sympathy to any of you who have lost a dear loved one. It’s such a terrible thing to see your loved one decline or to lose a person who is such a big part of your life, I wouldn’t wish this terrible disease on anyone.
Thank you for reading and thank you in advance for any advice you may be willing to share at this difficult time. Xx
Hi HealingHugs and a very warm welcome to the online community which I hope you'll find is both an informative and supportive place to be.
I'm really sorry to read all that you are going through as a family right now, but it sounds like you're a very caring and thoughtful person.
As you know, the online community is divided up into different support groups so I hope you don't mind me suggesting that you join the supporting someone with incurable cancer group where you can discuss your emotions about the prospect of losing your dad as well as practical issues about palliative care and end of life.
If this is something that you'd like to do just click on the link I've created which will take you straight to the group. You can then join and start a new post in the same way as you did here and also join in with existing conversations by clicking on 'reply'.
Sending a virtual (((hug)))
"Never regret a day in your life, good days give you happiness, bad days give you experience"
