Loss of my beautiful mum

I understand how you’re feeling I lost my wife 6 weeks ago she was only 33. I know it doesn’t matter what age you lose someone as all grief is the same to some degree. I don’t know what to say to be honest but I can assure you you are not alone. I’m still numb from what’s happened to me but one thing I have noticed is that speaking and letting people know how you’re feeling really helps. I’ve had positive feed back from this site so far and I recommend you keep posting how you feel no matter what time of day or night. My heart goes out to you and your family, keep your head up and be strong for your mum. All the best 

Hi Bracken03,

I am sorry for what you are going through it’s still early days and all so raw,

I am 11 weeks down the line of loosing my beautiful dad and still feel just like u describe.I feel lonely ,find it hard to talk and feel after the funeral people except you to move on and be ok .

I’m also sorry it happened over 5 weeks .I lost my dad 3 weeks after diagnosis.I feel when it happens so fast the shock and disbelief is hard to process.In my mind I still go through time lines i.e this time 3 months ago he was still here ,this time 4 months ago we knew nothing about what was about to come.

I can’t offer much advice as I am still yet to be able to move on,I miss him so bloody much but I will say to you you are not alone we are here in this boat together and also be kind to yourself there is no normal or time limits.I am trying to take baby steps.

This group is very supportive and I am feeling less alone now I have joined.

sending support 

Hi Bracken03,

Ik sonsorry to hear about your mum. I lost my dad 3 weeks ago after he was diagnosed in November. We had his funeral on Tuesday and Ian feeling worse since then. It all seems a lot more real. 

That must be hard with your husband working in the evenings. Is he being supportive and are you able to tell him how you are feeling?

Have you considered bereavement counselling? If your mum had hospice care (either in the community or in a hospice) they provide counselling. Or you could see your GP for a referral or pay to see a private therapist.

I'm glad that you have posted on here as everyone is so supportive and is going through the same thing. I find it a comfort to talk to others on here.

At the funeral my cousin, who also lost her dad to cancer many years ago, said to me that you are never the same person again and accepting that things are different now is the hard part.

Life is so cruel. I feel so angry with cancer for taking our amazing lived ones away from us. xx

Thank you so much for your reply, 33 is no age. I’m sending you all my love, I cannot imagine how you are feeling right now. I know mum would want me to be strong, she said that too me in hospital, she said you must carry on for the sake of my children, which I know is true. One minute I’m okay then it hits me all over again. Why does life have to be so tough

Thank you for replying, this is exactly how I feel, I look back to Christmas when everything was fine, arranging holidays and a big birthday of mine to this, pretty non existent. I cancelled holidays and my birthday, people say to me but your mum would still want you to enjoy this things and in my heart I know she would and she would hate the fact I’ve cancelled but I just can’t do it, I can’t go and enjoy myself it doesn’t feel right. I’m trying to get on with things for the sake of my children but I just can’t. My mum would be so mad at me for being like this I know she would.sending you my love and hoping we can get through this.

Thank you replying, we had to wait 4 weeks for mums funeral, I visited the chapel but couldn’t cope with it so was only there for 5 minutes. Now funeral is over it’s final nothing else to do or arrange. My husband is good and I have taken a lot out on him, we had holidays booked and my 40th birthday which I cancelled he didn’t want me too, he keeps trying to get me to go out for a meal or coffee but I just don’t feel like it. He has been good though all the way through but he isn’t close to his mum like I was too mine so don’t think he quite gets it. I spoke to my mum couple of times a day, saw her nearly every day, she was like a second mum to my children and my rock. 
I’m at the angry stage now, I’m angry at the hospital as I don’t think the care was good enough, I’m currently applying for medical records, she suffered so much over those 5 weeks.I haven’t got a lot of people to talk too so this has helped, thank you and I hope you are doing okay.