Hi, i lost my sister to bc in November 2018, i felt i lost a piece of me that day too. Though i live my life and love my son as he is my world, i still feel i have no umph sometimes.
I have since tested positive for brca1 gene and i have found this draining, i constantly think about it and I'm waiting for my dmx op to flat, had ovaries and tubes out in oct 21.
Its seems never ending 
Hi Previvor
Welcome to the community. I'm sorry to hear about the loss of your sister. Your feelings are perfectly normal but remember your sister will always be with you and will try to support, guide and comfort you as best she can. We all grieve in our own way and at our own speed so there nor rights or wrongs. Talk to her as much as you want where ever you are and ask her to support you. Open yourself to any sign she may send such as finding an unexpected white feather, or smelling her favourite perfume.
Regarding the second part I can't help but you will find it very helpful to join this group Breast cancer forum which will give you all the help, advice and support you need.
If you need to talk to someone, please contact the support line free on 0808 808 0000 which is open daily 8 am – 8 pm daily for a free confidential chat. You can use this link your area to find support near where you live. This could be 1-2-1 or group and is also free and confidential.
Also, post as much as you want whenever you want here and someone will always respond to you.
There is some useful information on coping with grief and information on the symptoms of grief.
This link allows you to download the Macmillan book Coping with Bereavement which is full of useful information and has support contact details at the back. This booklet about bereavement is free and can be downloaded as PDF or as an ebook.
This link takes you to a leaflet called In Memory which is very useful.
Lastly, here are some words which I hope will bring you some comfort -
Death is nothing at all.
I have only slipped away into the next room.
I am I and you are you.
Whatever we were to each other, that we still are.
Call me by my old familiar name, speak to me in the easy way you always used.
Put no difference into your tone, wear no forced air of solemnity or sorrow.
Laugh as we always laughed at the little jokes we enjoyed together.
Play, smile, think of me, pray for me.
Let my name be ever the household word that it always was, let it be spoken without effect, without the shadow of a ghost in it.
Life means all that it ever meant. It is the same as it ever was; there is unbroken continuity.
Why should I be out of mind because I am out of sight?
I am waiting for you, for an interval, somewhere very near, just around
the corner .......
All is well.
Hope this helps and sending you a big hug.
David
