On the 6th of December 2021 I lost my wonderfully brave dad. In May of this year we got the diagnosis but he had lung cancer. Due to many underlying medical conditions it was decided what was best for him was no treatment just to keep him comfortable. Due to one of his medical condition COPD he had difficulties breathing at the best of times but in the past six months these issues have gotten worse and on the 29th of November he was admitted to hospital where they carried out a chest drain. This appeared to make my dad feel better and was breathing better Sunday before he passed away he seem to me to be very sleepy. On Monday I had spoken to the doctor Who said that my dad was very sleepy and that they were going in fluids because his blood pressure was low. In the early evening I got a phone call to see his condition has deteriorated. Myself and my brother were with my father when he died. The past 10 days I’ve been like a loner. even though I’ve been surrounded by family I feel so alone because the thing is for the last five years I’ve been like my dad‘s full-time carer. And the last six months were bad but it’s worse now he’s gone. As much as I was his full-time carer I have a job where I’m a carer for elderly people in a care home and the thought of going back to them I feel like I’m dying inside because I don’t get to have my dad this Christmas, I feel like I want to scream all of the time but this isn’t fair!!
Hi Cadia and welcome to the forum and I am so very sorry that you have not had a reply as yet. I am so sorry to hear about the sad loss of your Dad. Dads are special people and you sound as if your have had a great relationship with your Dad and thats great because a lot of people don't have that or get that, so hold onto that as precious.
It will be difficult for you going back to work and I can relate to some extent that feeling of unfairness that your dad isn,'t here. You could go two ways with that feeling, you could resent the folks that you care for and decide that this job is not for you or you could think this is someone else,s Dad and what would I have wanted from those caring for my dad, and strive to deliver that.
In the meantime Im sending some hugs your way for now . xxx
gail
