Hi Everyone,
I think I just need to get my feelings out.
I lost my Mum in August of this year. Its devastated me beyond words and I am really struggling. I can't seem to remember her before her illness and, as I was present at the moment she passed away, I'm haunted by her passing. Some days it's all I can think about and its such a vivid memory still. I have a 13 month old also and most days I'm too busy running after him to really process these feelings but as soon as I get a moment to myself, it all comes to the surface.
I understand that grief has stages and I find myself at the bargaining stage at the moment. I'm wrecking my brain for ways to speak to her or see her again which I feel so stupid because obviously this is not possible but sometimes I convince myself that if I ring her number she will answer. I lived quite far a away from her in the last years of her life but we spoke many, many times a day over FaceTime or on the phone. I have so much guilt that I couldn't see her in person much because I was heavily pregnant or had a newborn or just plain old covid prevented us from seeing each other.
Is this my life now? Lots of people say that you never get over it and you just learn to live with the grief but my word, I hate it. I hate missing her, I hate the massive feeling of sadness every time her grandson does something new and I can't tell her. She adored my son, her first real grandchild that she could get involved with and I waited until my 30's to have children so she only got a small amount of time with him. Again, this brings me enormous guilt too.
I just want her back, I need to talk to her one more time. Will this ever feel better?
Will counselling help? Has anyone ever tried this and found it helpful?
I thought I was in a good place until a friend I hadn't seen in ages asked how my mum was and I had to say it out loud again and I've completely spiralled.
Any advice or just a chat would be so appreciated.
KDT
Look up psychic circles nearby your area normally churches but it’s gave me comfort to be honest or look up psychic evenings and ask any of them near you they should be able to put you in touch with
ome one what area are you I’m cheshunt Hertfordshire Thankyou for replying it’s an awful empty feeling and believe me I was so slide to her she was my life my world literally I still cry to sleep wa and cry and through the day I talk out loud and cry I feel emptiness like never before I’ve had a tattoo today with stairs gate of heaven and doves either side carrying mum to heaven beautiful but painful shame I can’t chat off here but not sure if we can x
