Lost four family members to cancer over the past 12 months.....I am not strong anymore. I feel lost, hurt and very angry. I don't really know what I can hope to achieve from this but I need to speak with others as I feel so cheated and disappointed in the diagnostic process during lockdown.
My Dad didn't have the chance of treatment, by the time he finally got a scan he was riddled with stage 4 bowel cancer that had advanced to the liver, kidney(he only had one)the lungs and his heart.
March 2020 FIT test and bloods normal !!!?????
CT scan 9th June 2020 after loosing over 2 stone.
Bloods still apparently normal. How can this be?(He had severe arthritis and I believe inflamitory markers were ignored due to his historic arthritic condition)
Diagnosed on the 19th June 2020 (Over the phone by GP!)
Heart Attack on my Birthday 21st June 2020 (At home 60miles away from hospital in the rural countryside because there was no beds in the hospice)
Stranded in hospital without visitors 3rd July 2020
Potassium levels hit the roof....we couldn't get near him and he didn't have a smart phone to see him.
Died at home 22nd August 2020. A part of me died when he took that last breath. My hero gone. My kids have since lost 3 Grandparents & my veteran Granda lost his fight to cancer also.
Until now I have been strong....but I feel so broken but have to curb my emotions to keep moving forward. I am an autistic female & single mother to three autistic children. I get little time to myself and my mother is selling the family home which is another blow as Dad built the house & our childhood was spent in the area. Just feels like everything good in my life has been taken away in the blink of an eye and now I am standing here on complete devastation.
Hi Shalaway welcome to the forum and apologies that you have not had a reply as yet I,m not sure whats happened with the post.
It sounds like lots of different things but similar in their devastation have occurred for you all at the same time and little wonder that you are feeling maybe a bit overwhelmed. It can feel like that sometimes, that Cancer is all around us and I'm not sure what we do to erase that thought.
I hope that you dont mind me saying from your post and what I am picking up is that you need to talk with someone, maybe a professional, about all this as you can keep managing this on your own, it will swamp you and that's not what you need nor want. It must feel like everything good has been taken a way but you have 3 lovely children and lots of new memories to make and much love to treasure in the years to come. form the 3 of them.
I wonder if its worth having a chat with your GP and seeing if there are any counselling services nearby that you could access to talk about how you are feeling in a confidential environment and get support for you to enable you to move forward from the feelings of devastation that you are experiencing.
Sending some hugs your way for now. xx
gail
