Lost my mam today

Hi Shaun bartz welcome to the forum and I can relate to your post about your mum. 

My mum has been dead now for almost 22 years and I miss her every day. We didn't get the chance to say goodbye as she had a brain Haemorrhage and was in a coma for 3 weeks, then slipped away very quietly one night  and she was only 61. I can also relate to wanting to go with your mum and at the time that's how I felt, and whilst it felt right for me, in reality I had 2 small boys that needed their mum (me).

I like to think that my mum has gone ahead to get things ready for me when it comes to be my time and we will meet again sometime in the future and until then I have to live my life to the full and make her proud and you need to try to do that as well. You will be so sad right now and that's ok and it will take you time to get any sense of normality back and you will in time. I have  a verse that I think reflects how I feel about my mum:

Those we love don't go away 

They walk beside us every day

Unseen, Unheard but always near.

Still loved, still missed and always dear.

Sending some condolence hugs to you and thinking of you. xxxxxxxx

Thank you so much for your kind words they really help. I’m sorry you didn’t get to say goodbye to your mum that must of been awful. Thank you for that verse I will keep it with me forever 

I know. My wife passed away from cancer 10 weeks ago. It's still not easy but I'm starting to adjust. I can only say two things: Remember the good times, all the parties and holidays and shopping trips you shared. Indulge yourself with chocolate or cheese or whatever you really enjoy.

Hang in there, don't try to "get over it", but embrace what's good about life. Go and have some fun with your daughter, buy her a present, take some pictures of her smile.

Hope that helps.

It really helps I didn’t think I wanted comfort from people but I do. I’m glad you are adjusting and it gives me hope that I will to because im afraid I won’t get through this. At the moment it feels that way anyway. I will take your advice. Thank you I really appreciate it 

I lost my mum this year to an 8 month cancer battle also. I'm really struggling to deal with the "afterlife" side of things also. I'm not particularly spiritual or religious and I don't "feel" my mum around me. In fact I am very aware that she is not around. So I don't really know how to cope with not being sure if I really will ever see her again. I can't fake what I believe or feel to appease other people's mind sets, or even my own. But I don't feel her around me at all. I feel lost without her. But I know I have to go on, but a part of me is missing. I hope you're coping OK xx

Yes I feel exactly the same not being sure if I will see her again. I want to believe there is an afterlife to give me hope but I don’t want to believe in something false. I talk to her and sometimes I feel her around me and sometimes I don’t and when I do what if it’s just all in my head? What also scares me is I’m 28 now and if I live a long life that would be years and years since the last time I seen her. It makes me sick. I coping ok. The only way I’m getting through the day is by blocking it all out. But when I do that I feel guilty for not thinking about her.. I feel as if I’m forgetting her but at the moment when I think of her it hurts so much. I don’t know why but I keep feeling the need to relive what she went through and what I have seen in my head. It hurts so much. And even the happy memories hurt. She pops into my head multiple times a day and I feel like dropping to the floor but I stop myself from going there. It doesn’t sound healthy to block it out but I just don’t know what else to do. Wish you well x