Mum died within 4 months

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Hi, my mum was diagnosed with advanced lung cancer on 28 January. It had spread to her liver, bones and brain. It was a shock diagnosis and she was quickly given some radiotherapy but it was made clear at the outset that it was not curable. She died on 13 May. She was given osimertinib tablets but the side effects were horrific and I feel like she just suffered for those few months.

i’m struggling to process what has happened. Some days it’s like a dream, others it hits me like a kick in the stomach.

i’m due back at work on 29 June, having been off since 21 April and feeling very anxious about that. I feel like I need support but I don’t know what kind of support or whether I should wait a while and see how I get on.

Thanks for reading.

Aneesha 6 hours ago

Really sorry to hear about your Mum. That definitely sounds like a traumatic journey. My partner started experiencing symptoms in October 2025 and passed away 5 months later. It’s a huge shock to the system, even if you know it’s coming. I’ve been off work since March and it almost feels impossible to go back (we used to work together so that isn’t helping my situation). I know one day I will have to as the money will soon run out but I also know that I absolutely must take as much time as I need to process his death and to heal as much as I can. I have felt guilty about not being at work though, guilty that I’m taking so much time away but my body and mind needs this time.

Do you feel that you’re ready to go back to work?

I don’t think you should wait to seek support, I think you have recognised that you need it now so you may want to look at counselling/therapy sessions. I have organised counselling through work as I have private health insurance. But you can also seek help through your GP.

I also feel my partner suffered during his entire journey, his symptoms were complex and severe, medication wasn’t really helping 100% and chemo was never an option because he was too weak and frail. This really hurts me deeply to know there was never a moment where he truly felt ‘normal’ and pain free. I’m sorry your Mum suffered the way she did, it is so difficult to watch your loved one in that kind of state.

It will still be very raw for you. I keep thinking to myself that when I do eventually go back to work that the first day will always be the hardest and after that I should fall back into my old routine.

You should keep posting on here and it also helps to reply to other people’s posts. You’re not alone x

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