Dads Gone- I’m lost

Hi Sam t, I'm afraid I don't have any answers for you but I know exactly what you are going through. My mum died at home 7 days ago with me holding her hand and I too had been nursing her at home 24/7 for the past 8 months. I am glad she is no longer suffering as she too had been ravaged by the cancer but I feel no sense of peace or relief as people had suggested I would and am overwhelmed by grief. I cannot stop crying and cannot believe/accept that she is gone. I miss her so much. We collect her remains on Wednesday and I am hoping that this may bring some sense of closure. Perhaps you will feel the same after Tuesday? But I don't know. I guess there is no rule book for this. I can only hope the feelings of despair and aching emptiness will lessen with time but it's hard to imagine right now. All I can say is you are not alone in this torment.

Hi Sam

i experienced a similar situation to you with my dad looking after him with my family in his final few weeks - I’m not sure about peace but I did not feel any until some time after the funeral if I can be honest and perhaps it will take some more time for you too and I just wanted to say there is no set time, the pain does carry on and I still feel lost without my dad 4 months on. Time will help but you’re only 2 weeks on and by talking about it I think that’s a brave step that shows great strength in character even if you feel at your weakest right now.

I can’t give you much advice because we are all different - but all I can say is don’t rush yourself and take as much time as you can and need to feel what you’re going through and talk to others you feel safe and secure with to make sure you aren’t doing it alone - this is what helped me in the early phase after losing my dad.

I wish you the best for your dads funeral, it will be tough I’m sure - sending best wishes to you and your family

just remember you are not alone and are much stronger than you may think.

Thank our for you reply the funeral was lovely and I think I’m still in the throws between disbelief and complete upset. I know it’s just going to take time, but have to start his house clear to sell so I’m hoping that helps. Did Wednesday help you 

thanks the funeral was great and I’m accepting that I’m just going to miss him like hell, and that he would have wanted me to carry on and loved me