So in August of 2014 I lost my mother to cancer, in 2013 she had over come cervical cancer and was doing so amazing, she finished her radiotherapy and chemotherapy,was in her first year of university when it all came crashing down... unfortunately our usual GP was away on annual leave and someone from another clinic had come to take over from him, my mum knew her cancer was back and asked for a scan, he sent her away by saying she was “too Overweight to have cancer” and she “can’t come in over every little pain” fast forward a few weeks our GP came back and he sent her for a scan straight away, by that time it was terminal. 8 days after her 37th birthday she passed away, I was 16 and my little sister was 4, two weeks following her death I had to move to Australia because that’s where my father lived, I Feel like in this 6 years I’ve not grieved properly,Like somethings wrong with me, there’s so many gaps in my memory when it comes to my mum and no matter how hard I try I can’t remember.
I don’t want to forget my mum but I find it hard to remember anything, has anyone else experienced this? I feel like a failure of a daughter.
Oh , just writing this story clearly shows you are no failure. Life has been really difficult for you being uprooted so young and taken away from all the family and friends you knew to start what is often described as a "new-life down-under".
There is no right or wrong way to grieve but sometimes we can find years down the line something will trigger some deep memory. In the UK there are a couple of really good support groups Cruse bereavement care and the loss foundation that have people specially trained to help people in these circumstances but I do not have any experience of things in Australia though I did find this online.
<<hugs>>
Steve
Sending u lots of love & hugs Bethany
And I’m so sorry for your loss. U clearly aren’t a failure as a daughter as u are desperately trying to keep your Mum’s memory alive. I agree with src60 & suspect that dealing with such a trauma and at such a young age, plus having to move away from all that was your Mum; may perhaps have suppressed your memories, emotions and your grief. Counselling or support groups (as suggested) could be a good way forward to try & help you.
I only lost my Mum 2 months ago and already I’m struggling to remember anything but the last 2 horrendous weeks of loosing her. I’m trying to help myself by looking at photos & videos to try & put our happy times back in my head. Perhaps this could help u too?
Thinking of u & sending u lots of love & positivity xox
