I can't even begin to tell you how much pain I'm feeling right now. My husband pasted on the 11th from Stage 4 bowel cancer he was only diagnosed early December. The cancer was aggressive, he had to have a stoma and then caught an infection in his picc line so chemo never really got the chance to work. He was 50! Hes left two older children, two step children and our darling twins who are just 2.5 years old. Today I just can not get out of bed, I'm not eating, I am sleeping but i just don't want to wake up. Everything happened so fast and we never really got time to process the diagnosis and know hes not here. He was my soul mate, we had so many plans together, so many ideas for our children and hes just not here anymore. I was able to be with him in his final hours we spoke about the children amd how much we loved eachother. Now i just have this huge hole in my heart i feel someone is weighing me down and I'm struggling. I want to go to sleep and not wake. I want the pain to go away. He was my whole world im completely crushed
