When my heart began to break

Well a week has whizzed by after my dads lung cancer dx and what a emotional week it's been. The mind is very good at creating haunting thoughts and I find myself playing our what will happen in the next few weeks :( Every day I seem to have new questions, and I know in time they will be answered but for now they rage in my head and invade my mind. Is there a way to know if the cancer has spread? Is it possible…

Today my dad had a phonecall from the hospital. He has an appointment Thursday afternoon to have a chat with the doctor :-/ and the doctor may want to do a bronshocopy :( I know this is done to get a biopsy. I feel even more on edge now. The fact the doctor MIGHT want to do a bronschopy tells me that they already have enough evidence of the cancer. I also keep thinking of the words LARGE mass and see this a certainty…

Another day on edge waiting for results, but they didn't come. Spent the afternoon at the hospital trying to get help for my husbands ulcerative colitis, he is and out the toilet 9 times a day and in alot of pain. It was a waste of a afternoon as the doctor did not have results of my husbands previous tests. All the time we were in there I was trying to contact my mum or dad and as I received no reply convinced myself…

Well this week is going be a very life changing week I feel. Awaiting results from my dads ct scan and for him to have his lung cancer staged, as well as waiting for the results from my mums ultrasound. I have been googling again and scare myself in the low survival rate of lung cancer. I also have been trying to research cyber knife. I am off to the hospital with my husband later he has severe ulcerative colitis…

So I started off the day feeling pretty rubbish and carried on really. Just wanted to be on my own most the time which is not fair on my daughter or my husband. I then went down to see my mum and dad this afternoon. I love so much to spend time with them. My dad was in his Sunday seat as my mum calls it. He said he felt tired and got breathless during the day this scared me :( we then had tea and biscuits and watched…