Friday 18th Nov
I was given a ray of hope today, and it was gratefully received. I went from terrified to hopeful in a few hours and I feel blessed.
Yesterday I convinced myself that this cancer had spread and that there would be no treatment for me. I'm not stupid, I know it happens, it can happen to anybody young and old, I'm not special. The lump was huge and painful and scaring the hell out of me. Today…
This is the third time I've written this blog today...I keep losing it.
Yesterday was such a horrendous day that I didn't think it could be topped, but boy did Thursday beat Wednesday by a long chalk.
It started as an ordinary Thursday, bin day in our house, I was thinking how strange life is that Wednesday which was such a long awful scary day could be followed by such an ordinary Thursday, bin day, how is…
Wednesday 16th November 2016
I am thinking this might be a short blog, do I really need to put 2016 on the date, does the year matter?
I didn't think I could feel much worse that I did on Monday, I didn't think I could be scared anymore but today I felt worse and I was scared again.
I feel like my horizons are closing in a little every day, I feel that despair when something happens that doesn't…
So today is Tuesday 15 November, CT scan day.
I got 5 hours sleep last night, aided by 2 mild sleeping tablets, but I don't care about that, it was like having a 5 hour pass out of this living hell I've found myself in.
I found myself catching up with the washing and sorting out things from our weekend away, I set the cooker timer to remind myself to mix up the liquid to a litre of water at 12 o'clock. Oh…
It's Monday 14 November, 6pm
Today I am scared, very scared, we left Devon to come back to Wales today, I hated saying goodbye to my daughter, I hated coming home, seems so quiet and empty here. It was the most awful journey of my life, this lump is huge now and very uncomfortable, and its another week until surgery, I don't know if I can handle this anymore. I phoned the breast care nurse on the way home, she…
