sarah61's blog

After having my beloved Dads funeral on friday im wondering whats wrong with me as I thought grief was an all consuming feeling. I have been carrying on normally and getting through the days quite well. That may now change as I have just found out that my best friends husband has breast cancer !!!! He is going in on monday to have his breast removed and at the moment they are staging it at zero - which is I suppose good…

Am I just being over sensitive or do I have a reason to be feeling bloody angry. My brother and I went to read Dad's medical certificate this morning prior to his funeral tomorrow. As I was reading through there was a question about wether a post mortem had been carried out, it was ticked yes and also if they had the notes from it, also ticked yes. This being the first we'd heard about a post mortem I was devestated as…

I wish I could get my head together and sort my mind out.One minute im crying the next im ok. I know, full well that my Dad died, I was there. But it does'nt seem real to me. I cant really comprehend that hes gone. Am I in denial ? am I mad? I expect to go to his house and hes still there. Been sorting through my photos of him tonight and when I look at the photos pre cancer which was only 10 months ago, I see Dad, Dad…

Im not having a very good day today. We went to order the flowers for Dad's funeral and one of the flowers I wanted one that Dad liked, Bella donna lillies, the florist had never heard of. How pathetic is that, although she did say she would speak to her boss. Took Mum to see Dad in the chapel of rest on Thursday. He looked peaceful but not entirely the Dad I knew and loved. I still cant believe he's gone really I keep…

Have had a fairly ok day today. Took my kids out for the day with some other mums from school. Have been feeling guilty though that I have had a good day and that i've been able to talk about Dad without breaking up. I still feel that I should be crying all day.After all its only been 5 days since my darling Dad died.Its really strange but I looked at a photo of Dad today and I thought I would feel so much pain,but I…