Im not having a very good day today. We went to order the flowers for Dad's funeral and one of the flowers I wanted one that Dad liked, Bella donna lillies, the florist had never heard of. How pathetic is that, although she did say she would speak to her boss.
Took Mum to see Dad in the chapel of rest on Thursday. He looked peaceful but not entirely the Dad I knew and loved. I still cant believe he's gone really I keep expecting to see him walk by. I look at photos and see a different Dad to the one which was so poorly.
Something that I am finding it hard to cope with is what was going through Dad's mind when we were sat at his bedside holding his hand on the night he died. He knew we were there he squeezed my hand when I arrived. All I could do was cry, what the heck must he have been thinking. Did he realise he was dying,was he scared. These things i'll never know.
FormerMember
Hi Sarah,
I'm so sory to read about your dad passing. This is an extremely painful time for you now and it is only natural to have many questions. I can't help you with any answers but hope it helps to know others are thinking of you and your family at this time.
Dear Sarah, I'm so sorry for the loss of your dad. Of course I don't know really what he was thinking, but I can tell you about my mum, who died of lung cancer years ago. She was actually very scared of dying - until the day she really was dying. A priest at the hospital came to her bedside, and started to say the Lord's Prayer. She wasn't tremendously religious, and she was in the fairly deep sleep that comes near the end - you couldn't really wake her. But she did wake up at the sound of this man's voice, and at first she looked surprised, then a big smile crossed her face, and she said 'I'm going home!'. These were the last words she spoke - she died some hours later without waking up again. At this point she was certainly no longer afraid. She did a lot of dreaming - you could se that by the way her eyes moved - but she was not upset. I sat with her until she died. It was so peaceful that I am no longer afraid of death.
Regarding Belladonna lilies - you probably mean amaryllis belladonna, a South African plant. It isn't really a lily, so it's a bit confusing. Very pretty flowers, though. I didn't realise they were sold as a cut flower. This is probably why the florist didn't know them - I'm a plant enthusiast, but I'd never heard of the name like that. If you google it you can see pictures. Hope you get the ones you want. Good that you can come on here and tell us all about your feelings, too - please tell us how you get on.
