Well, 15 months nearly since we lost Dad now. Still miss him loads although Most of my memories of him are good ones and the few months that he was ill for are becoming distant. Everything reminds me of him, he had been an avid 'twitcher' or birdwatcher for over 50 years and of course, birds are everywhere. Once again, christmas is drawing near, a terrible time because we always spent it together and also at the beginning…
Hav'nt been on for a while as i've been doing ok. Different matter today though. I've been a bit tearful for a few days now, missing dad like mad. The thought of xmas without him is unbearable. Everywhere you go now theres cards for 'Dad' theres xmas songs playing in the shops. Dad used to love spending xmas with us and our kids and I always do the whole xmas dinner being the perfect hostess. Although i've been…
I Hate Thursdays !! I wake up with a dread now every thursday morning as I know that it signifies another week since my Dad died.
Today was bad. It was my boys school Harvest Festival in the local church today. I should be there really as its the first year all 3 of my boys have been in the same school, they wanted me there especially the youngest. He said this morning, I want you and Dad to be there. I told him that…
I thought I was doing ok over the past couple of weeks but all alone last night I thought i'd sort out some photo's of Dad to put in some frames that I bought. Major blub session!! The reality that Dad's not here in body anymore came over me and had to put the photo's away cos I did'nt want them to get wet. The guilt came again of maybe I could have done more. If I'd pushed the doctors earlier Dad may still be here. Dad…
Dont know what was wrong with me today, well, I do, i'm missing Dad !! Taking the kids to school in the car....started crying. Got to work.....started crying, and so it carried on like that for a lot of the day. I keep talking to Dad out loud and kind of hear him answering. Oh my god im going mad now, hearing voices. I do like to think that Dad is talking to me. I feel him near at times, but its funny, mum went on holiday…
