Dad died on Thursday morning. After being in hospital 16 days, he passed away peacefully, with all his family around him.
Dad was ready to go. He told us all he was prepared and where he was going was a lovely place. He wasn't afraid, and being so wonderful and brave, he prepared us all. It still hurts like hell though.
We all managed to speak to him alone, from Mum, to his grandchildren...even Calum, the youngest…
Dad is due to start chemotherapy tomorrow. We visited the oncology department last Tuesday to get the lowdown on it all.
This week, he has really deteriorated. He has become more weak, struggling to get to the bathroom, his ankles are swollen, constipation (due to the opiate based drugs), oral thrush and goodness knows what else. We know he is in pain but he wont admit it to us. No appetite, (thats not only Dad), and…
I want to scream, thats all, just go somewhere where no one can hear me and bloody well scream. My head is full to bursting right now and I feel shitty!!!
Mum and Dad are coming round for Easter Sunday dinner in an hour, and I am pushing the boat out with turkey, pork and all the trimmings followed by home made cheesecake and fresh fruit...all organic, all lovely. And I am smiling...but all I want to do is bloody scream…
I am having a really awful evening. I cant get it out of my head that we are going to lose my lovely Dad. I know we could have a while with him yet, but the thought of not having him around is tearing me apart. Dad has been my confidante all of my life. We are so alike and have fought like cats over the years, in fact, I couldn't live under the same roof as him as a teenager and his 'over protectiveness' of me seemed…
So, Dad had his first radiotherapy yesterday, and his second today. He was astonished how quick it was, and was in and out in less than 30 minutes. We didn't have the chance to chat to the specialist nurses, because the one who said she would be there, wasn't.
On steroids, his breathing seems to have improved, and the pain in his right side has diminished, so fingers crossed he will remain reasonably well for…
