Bertrand describes that he was at the pinnacle of his life when his papa was diagnosed with cancer. Faced with handling becoming a parent himself and navigating his papa’s incurable diagnosis, Bertrand has created a video about finding what he calls “The Grey Area.”
A loved one’s cancer diagnosis can have a huge impact. It can be difficult to find the balance between taking care of yourself, your career and your family, alongside looking after your loved one who has been diagnosed. Bertrand felt he needed to navigate a new stage in his relationship with his parent. He needed to reconcile with needing his papa’s support and guidance, while supporting his papa too.
“I wanted his guidance, but I didn’t want to bother him. As I felt that surely any issue I had was minor compared to what he was going through.”
Bertrand’s video has subtitles/closed captions. Watch his story by clicking on the video below:
Bertrand's story: The Grey Area - YouTube
A cancer diagnosis can cause changes in a relationship that can sometimes be hard to navigate. It can be tough to cope with still needing emotional or physical support from a loved one, who may now need further care themselves. Every relationship is different. Finding what works for you and your family member, friend or loved one can take time. In Bertrand’s story, it was really helpful to talk and keep his parent updated on his life, alongside being there when his papa needed him.
When a loved one is diagnosed with cancer, you may sometimes feel that your own emotions need to be pushed aside. No longer feeling able to go to your parent for help may be as hard to cope with as their diagnosis. If this is how you feel, you’re not alone. Coping with a loved one’s diagnosis can be a lot to go through, and you deserve to find the right support for you too.
Here on the Online Community, we have lots of support if your family member or parent has been diagnosed with cancer. Here on the Online Community, we have our “Family and friends” group which is a safe place to find comfort and support through talking to other people. Sometimes it can really help to talk to other people who understand how you feel.
Our Macmillan web page on emotional support when a family or friend has been diagnosed may be helpful to look through. This information and guidance offers support around navigating your own feelings, alongside changes in your relationship with a loved one.
If you are now a carer for your loved one, navigating your own life and responsibilities with supporting your loved one can sometimes feel even more difficult. We have a blog about your rights at work as a carer. We also have further information on our website about accessing support as a carer. You may also find the "Carers" group on the Online Community to be a helpful place to find support.
“A cancer diagnosis like this in the family can be such a challenging and stressful time but I do hope you will find the Community a safe place to get support.”
Community member, “New to the Community” group
Bertrand created his video as part of the Digital Storytelling project. Macmillan’s Digital Storytelling workshops support people affected by cancer to tell their stories in their own words. Do you think you might find support from attending workshops with other people and sharing your story as a video? If you’d like to get involved, you can find out more about it on Macmillan’s webpage about the Digital Storytelling project.
We would like to thank Bertrand for sharing his story with us. How did you navigate your relationship with a loved one changing after diagnosis? Let Bertrand and members of the Online Community know in the comments below.
Read more like this in our “Supporting someone with cancer” section on Community News:
Read more from the Digital Storytelling project:
