Caroline W M's blog

My husband died on the 2nd of October and only 6 months from his diagnosis of Kidney cancer. It had already spread to his lungs on diagnosis then a couple of month ago discovered the disease in his brain. Even although I had some time to get my head around it all I still sit and think what has happened? I sometimes cant understand what I am feeling it is too great to deal with. We were together for 33 years married for…

Hi all AGAIN, I should have added to my last blog which I have just sent that I am feeling awful tonight. My husband (told this before so sorry to repeat) is having problems with his "working out" memory and has mood swings (sometimes like an aggressive drunk) and when he goes to bed which is sometimes early evening he knocks on the floor for me to come up as he cant work out the remote control on the TV. Thsi will happen…

I wrote before about how my husbands mood swings are difficult. Yesterday wasn't good. we had a small window of reason but that was it. I managed to get to the shops for an hour with a friend but all the time wondered how he was, and shouldn't have as was sound asleep on the couch. I have to contact someone today again, going to phone the cancer nurse and go into Maggies as he is being very unreasonable, sometimes doesnt…

Today started bad with my husband having been up during the night when he seemed much worse. I phoned his cancer nurse to explain. I was really concerned. However a short time later (once steroid kicked in!!!) he was great. We got out for a walk and he was in good spirit and thought his sight was clearer. We had a few visitors a good friend of his and close relatives. My daughter and son in-law my son and his girlfriend…

Recently it was discovered that my husbands kidney cancer is also in his brain. This has had an affect on how he is dealing with his condition. He is extremely emotional crying a lot but also the disease is affecting his moods and can change from one minute to the next. This is very difficult and find myself getting impatient having to repeat myself over and over as his short term memory is also affected. I feel very…