Hi All
We’ve talked before about what things shouldn’t be said to people with cancer well this weekend I had a very strange experience.
Hubby and I met up with some old friends we’ve haven’t seen for the past couple of years due to Covid. They normally visit a holiday cottage nearby so we went to visit them. Jen had hurt her back so we just visited for coffee as she couldn't do lunch but insisted we visited and not cancel as i’d been so long since we’d met up.
It was lovely to see them and their children, now all grown up, daughter at uni, I could remember when she was just a toddler when Jen fell pregnant again - son’s now at college.
We heard all about Jen’s husband’s Rick’s long wait for knee replacement surgery as well as his hip replacement. He’s developed type 2 diabetes which has caused peripheral neuropathy with which I can sympathise.
We talked about my hubby’s successful hip replacement in November and how much difference it’s made to his life.
The one thing we didn’t talk about was my hysterectomy, my cancer and the fact it’s come back. They didn’t ask about the chemo treatment I’d just undergone or my future outlook but I’ve told Jen I’m incurable.
Jen did mention to hubby when I was out of earshot that I look really well.
It was really weird, Rick just didn’t stop talking about himself, Jen couldn’t get a word in edgeways. As Jen has had breast cancer and is 3 years clear I thought they’d touch on my predicament but no, nothing mentioned at all.
It’s the first time we’ve met up with friends since the pandemic started so will this be the norm? I’m not happy to be incurable but that doesn’t mean I don’t want to talk about it.
Left me feeling a bit strange.
Hugs, Barb xx
Hi @Mondaymobster, Sorry can't tag you for some reason, Jen's spoken to me in the past about my prognosis so she knows all bout it - it was weird.
All my other friends know how upbeat I am about the fact that my cancer is now incurable. I don't like it - but it is what it is!
I'm wondering if they were protecting their children, although almost grown up, from the conversation. The way Rick dominated the conversation was weird.
Hugs, Barb xx
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MrsBJH, ah Barb you know its weird some people seem unable or unwilling to ask us about our cancer. I suppose they worry they will affend where as most I have spoken to have been glad to be able to talk about it and feel odd that someone doesn't ask. It's still a rather odd taboo to some folks but not sure why. Yes I understand they in general worry you may not want to talk but sometimes just a little how did your chemo go? Goes a long way ,I spoke to a lady at the leisure club I go too and I spoke about people's words that they have given me about their thoughts and I would certainly hope that I can understand even if my experience is different.
_GBear Xxxx
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Hi the strange thing is I've been so open to all of my friend about my cancer, even offered to speak at WI meetings where friends are members, once Covid's out of the way a bit more!
There have been some who don't know what to say but I reassure them it's ok to talk about it!
Hugs, Barb xx
Macmillan Support Line - 0808 808 00 00, 7 days a week between 8am-8pm
"Never lose hope. Storms make people stronger and never last forever” - Roy T Bennett
