Hysteroscopy, had to stop, feel like a failure

Hi Misscrisps.

You are not a failure. I was terrified of having the hysteroscopy - they wanted me to have a general anaesthetic  as I was also having a large polyp removed but I was terrified of having the general anaesthetic too! So I had a spinal block which was ĝreat. Don't forget you are dealing with anxiety about possible diagnosis, feeling in shock, not in control etc. Plus the pain of investigations and waiting for results.It's a really difficult time and everyone on here will understand what you are going through. I thought I wasn't coping well and called myself a 'baby' but I've realised that having compassion and empathy for ourselves and accepting our feelings is so important..

Try to care for yourself as you would for a friend who was going through what you are. And people on here are lovely and will help and answer questions.

Take care

Hello Misscrisps 

Sorry to hear your news. 

Firstly you are not a failure.

Secondly you are not a wuss.

Having a hysteroscopy is not a pleasant procedure. Some of us managed it reasonably OK - because there were no complicationsto get in the way (as was the case with me). Others had very difficult times and have documented it on this forum. We are all unique and have different experiences to share.

Having an atrophied cervix would make it more painful/difficult for sure. It is not a pleasant procedure in any case so you have been honest and brave to share your story. You are definitely not on your own with this experience.

I'm hoping you are making yourself something really nice for dinner, resting and relaxing. Next time will be much easier as I would imagine it will be under a light general anaesthetic (I'm not medically trained but would think this might happen).

Take care.

Kxx

Thank you for that. I think I'd pinned so much on progressing today and feel I've let myself down. But you're right, I wouldn't say to a friend that they'd been a wuss! I'll hopefully feel more positive tomorrow x

Thank you for your kindness. Yes they are going to use a general anaesthetic next time. I've had a little weep and now hubby is cooking me tea and I'm going to try and be more positive. 

You also don't have to feel positive if that's not how you are actually feeling! I had some dark days (and weeks!) because it is frightening and horrible. Yes, it's good to try to do nice things and distract yourself. But if you aren't feeling positive all tbe time that's ok. 

100% agree with you there! Sorrell 

Hello Misscrisps

I am sorry that you had such a painful experience today- you are not a failure or a wuss. It can be very painful. Everyone has different anatomy and for some ladies the cervix has meant that it is difficult for the doctor to carry out the procedure. Many ladies on here have had it done via GA. The main thing is that it is done and the biopsy taken.

I know it is hard to wait for another 4-6 weeks. I wonder if it is worth asking if they have a short notice cancellation list?

It sounds like you had a really bad experience and it is far better in the long run for them to stop rather than cause you unbearable pain or potentially injure you. 

I hope that you are feeling ok now and that any cramping etc has stopped. 

Take care

Jane

Thank you Jane. The doctor did ask if I could take a short notice appointment if one came up, so fingers crossed for that. 

It just shocked me the instant pain and it's severity. I'm ok now, just tired and still a bit crampy but I'm going to have an early night with a hot water bottle. 

The replies here have definitely made me feel a little better. 

Hello Misscrisps

You poor love.  I can imagine just how you feel as exactly the same thing happened to me.  I found the procedure agonising and passed out with the pain.  You have nothing to feel bad about at all.  There is actually a national campaign against painful hysteroscopy, calling for all hysteroscopies to take place under general anaesthetic, as so many women find the procedure intolerable.  I had mine under general anaesthetic a fortnight later, having been assured by the consultant that endometrial cancer is slow growing and that waiting a few weeks wouldn’t make any difference at all.

Try not to worry and just relax and be gentle with yourself.  Things will soon be sorted.

Pippa xx

Ah thanks Pippa, not that for one minute I want other women to suffer, but it's reassuring that it wasn't just me, not being brave enough. It just shocked me how instantly and shockingly painful it was. I'm sorry you went through the same. Xx