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Hi, I'm Sam, 31 and mum to a 7 year old boy. I have recently been diagnosed with triple negative grade 3 invasive ductal carcinoma that has spread to nearby lymph nodes. Currently awaiting for scan results to see how far its spread (scary) people keep telling me how young I am now which is strange never thought of myself as young anymore until this hit. I'm struggling with my diagnosis and knowing at some point soon (I've been told itll be chemo before surgery and I will lose all my hair) I'm going to have to tell my boy 

  • Hi Sam I'm new here too.  Diagnosed in August with TNBC stage 2 grade 3.  Started chemo 26th September. 4 rounds of AC every 2 weeks followed by 12 rounds of TC weekly.  Had my 2nd AC this week.  So far side effects were mostly fatigue and a little nausea which was easily resolved   Hair has started to steadily fall out this week.  Sending you hugs and strength as you start on this journey.  I am trying to keep very positive and not let the diagnosis take over everything.  For me the hardest part was telling my family   I'm 59 with 3 adult children.  I lost my lovely sweet husband to pancreatic cancer 8 years ago.  Since then I have learnt to live again and met another wonderful man to share my journey.  I feel very fortunate with the life I have been given and know that cancer is a very small part of it that needs to be dealt with and that's it.  I'll do everything I need to do and move on with the rest of my life. Sorry for the long winded message.  I just want to tell you that you are an amazing person and you can do this   Share what you need to share with your son, keep it on a need to know basis   Take as much help from family and friends as you can ... the tiredness from chemo will surprise you.  Let them help you xxx take care xxx

  • Sorry about your diagnosis, you sound like a very strong person I need to take a leaf out of your book and spend my time counting my blessings rather than sulking lol! So sorry about your husband getting a diagnosis yourself after that must have been really hard but I'm glad to hear you have someone else to lean on and support you! I too am lucky in I have the most supportive partner and family so I know I'll be fine just a very scary uncertain time I dont deal well with change time to put on my big girl pants! Wishing you all the luck in the world with your treatment you're a super woman you've got this xxx

  • Hi. I have also just been diagnosed with TNBC. I am starting chemo on Thursday. I have to get 4 rounds of EC on a 2 weekly basis then 9 rounds of PC on a weekly basis. I have never felt so scared of anything in all my life and I can't think of anything else at the moment. I am hoping that once treatment starts I will come to terms with it better. I think the waiting is dreadful. SAM 31 I understand how you feel 100%. Marso. I really wish I could be more like you. I do have a wonderful husband and daughter who have been amazing. I need to try to be more strong for them. 

  • Sam I was absolutely scared until I had the first chemo done.  Once you get it out of the way you will be fine   The health care staff are all wonderful and you will meet other amazing people on the way.  Keep in touch.  Sending you lots of love and hugs xxx

  • SMY you really will be fine.  Its the fear of the unknown that rattles you.  Once the 1st chemo is under your belt you will begin to realise how doable it is.  I've just had my second infusion this week and already my tumor is noticbly smaller.  The side effects are different for everyone    I've had very little nausea but lots of fatigue.  Learn to go with it and listen to your body.  If you are tired then rest.  The anti sickness meds are brilliant these days.  Let your medical team know if you need more.  Sending you lots of love and hugs and hope you get through your 1st treatment with ease   xx

  • Thank you very much Marso.  Yes I think I just need treatment to start now and get on with it. I wish you all the very best. 

  • Hi Sam, just wondering how you are getting on? I have just had my diagnosis a few days ago and still in a state of shock.  I haven’t been offered chemo before my surgery, I will get surgery first then chemo, is this normal? I also have a 7 year old boy and have no idea how to explain any of this to him. X

  • Hi Mamma79

    Welcome to the forum and sorry to hear that you have been diagnosed with triple negative breast cancer. Whether you have chemo or surgery first depends on the size of the tumour.

    Macmillan have information on the site on how to,talk,to your child about your cancer diagnosis or alternatively you can ring the helpline on 0808 808 00 00and get advice from the volunteer at the end of the phone about talking to your son about your diagnosis.

    Wishing you the best of luck with your treatment.

    Best wishes


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  • Hi, sorry to hear about your diagnosis! It's hard and it's a really scary time but once everything gets going you will soon start to feel better the waiting is the worst part! I have not long since finished my chemo and have my surgery planned for next Friday. I think the reason I had chemo first was to hopefully shrink my tumour to make for a smaller surgery. I have found a group on Facebook specifically for women with triple negative breast cancer if you would like the name I've found them a very supportive group and there is always someone around to answer questions. The thought of chemo Is scary but I assure you as horrible as it is its completely doable. You got this! Xx

  • Also ask your Macmillan nurse for help explaining to your child, they gave me a book to read with him which was helpful and some info on how best to go about it xx