One year on

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Hi all, so I had my one year check up on December 5th. My lumpectomy was October 2022 and I finished my Radiotherapy in February of this year. My appointment went well and the surgeon couldn't see anything to make him concerned on the ultrasound. Just waiting on the results of the mammogram now so fingers crossed for a good result. 

Everyone has been congratulating me which is nice but it has made me reflect on how I've dealt with the whole cancer thing. I guess I took it one day at a time and just tried to get on with it. I didn't sit and cry my eyes out and I didn't talk to other people who were going through the same thing as me and now more than a year and a half since my diagnosis I deeply regret it. I have so many mixed feelings about everything. 

Don't get me wrong I am grateful to be alive and to have a family who love me but I don't think I ever really sorted myself out. Something I should have done many years ago and then bam along comes cancer and I just sucked it all up and got on with it.

  • Hello   I have just read your post and am sorry to see it's gone unanswered - so by me replying it will be "bumped up" to the top of the forum and be seen by other  Community members. I know just how you feel about dealing with cancer - it's a very strange one.

    The thing is the only people who understand us (I have a very different cancer !!)  are people who have it - you start off on your cancer journey and you just have no idea where it's going to take you and it's only as you get  near to the end of that journey and look back on life you wonder - did I do the right things - but I tell you what - it makes you sort your life out and you get a whole new vision of life.

    My best wishes for your mammogram results - Brian.

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  • Thank you Brian, sometimes you just need to vent. Really appreciate the reply.

  •    It's no problem - I know just how you feel - just sometimes the entire world is against you and there's just nothing you can do.

    There's one thing about cancer - it's almost a bond - and unless you've "been there and done that" you just have no idea what it does to your mind!!

    My best wishes to you - enjoy the rest of the weekend.

    Kind Regards - Brian.  Thumbsup

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  • Hi  

    I’m deep in the middle of my battle with TNBC and it’s been hard. I’m only young and have two small boys which puts everything into perspective. My first month I cried all the time and couldn’t stop thinking about not being here to watch the boys grow up. I google TNBC when I shouldn’t have and that made it so much worse.

    I’ve had the lump removed and my nodes were all clear. I’m on chemo now and will have radiotherapy so it’s looking positive for now. 

    However, I can’t stop worrying that it’s spread and I don’t know about it yet. I have never been offered a full body scan and I worry I never will. I can’t stop worrying it’s elsewhere in my body and that it will be too late by the time they find it. I’m coming to terms with the worrying and I just hope I can find some peace (but doubt I ever will). 

    One thing this whole process has showed me is that life is too short to sweat all the small things that just don’t matter. 

    Hope you stay all clear & live life to the fullest! 

  • Hello  

    I have just read your post and hope you don't mind me dropping into your conversation (I have a different cancer). I know just how you feel about having a view that life is too short to worry - but we still do. I almost died and I really appreciate life now - everything about it. 

    I appreciate you are busy with two young boys and you are on Chemo with Radiotherapy to look forward to (Radiotherapy's a walk in the park compared to other treatments!).  But you also need time to look after yourself and try and manage the stress of worrying. A couple of things you may want to try (and anyone else reading this post);

    * "Maggie's"  -This is a support charity for anyone affected by cancer - they are great even if it's to drop in for a cup of tea. To find your local "Maggie's" - 0300 123 1801 or enquiries@maggiesntres.org or www.maggiescentres.org

    * There is our MacMillan help line  - it's a free call on 0808 808 00 00 (8am to 8pm 7 days a week) there is plenty of additional support available if you just give the call centre a ring.

    I hope you can find just that little bit of help to ease the worry.

    If I can do anything else for you just let me know.

    Best wishes - Brian.

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    Macmillan Support Line - 0808 808 00 00, 7 days a week between 8am-8pm

    Strength, Courage, Faith, Hope, Defiance, VICTORY.

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  • Hi Opalfruits2001,

    Sorry to hear that you are going through this right now but glad to hear that your surgery went well. Here's hoping you get through your chemotherapy and radiotherapy without too much trouble. 

    I remember googling TNBC after I was diagnosed and yes the outdated information can be frightening. I was never offered a full body scan either and like you say it can be worrying that it's elsewhere and you just don't know yet.

    After Chemotherapy my tumour had shrunk to 3.5mm which they removed but my surgeon didn't quite get the margins he wanted so he opened me up two weeks later. They said it was a grade 2 and confirmed it was triple negative. Then once I had given my scar some time to heal I had my radiotherapy. Did they offer you a genetic test?

    Hope your worries ease a little as time goes on. It's hard especially with little ones but you are amazing and I'm sure your children will grow up to be very proud of you.

    You are right about not sweating the small stuff although I struggle with that and always have done. I do have a family holiday to look forward to during February half term. It Will be my first sun holiday since before my son was born (he's 13 lol).

    Let me know how everything goes for you and feel free to message if you ever need to vent.

  • I also wanted to reply to this as I feel it's an important one. Dealing with a cancer diagnosis is a very personal thing I think and until it happens you really don't know how you will react or behave. I'm not sure there's a right or wrong way , it's a process we need to go through which hopefully brings us out  of the other side. My personal experience went from numb shock, to planning a funeral, to uncertainty, acceptance and hope . I wanted to talk about it even the bad stuff to everyone. A friend of mine with a different cancer diagnosed at a similar time was the opposite. She didn't want to tell anyone or talk about it. She dealt with things as and when and preferred not to research. We are both coping in our own ways. I'm a great believer that talking helps with the mental strain but it's not always that easy for everyone. My mantra is be kind to yourself, try and keep positive and take every day as it comes.