Being a 21 year old just starting her master's in Scotland, without her family, finding out she has cancer was - needless to say- awful. I think it is also important to mention that even though I am a British citizen, I am not by blood. My family aren't with me in the UK. It is definitely a very hard experience, not having them with me, even more so during this time.
My mum had Thyroid Cancer when she was 37. I was 14 at the time and I didn't understand much at that point. She had her thyroid removed in 2014 in Romania, at the same hospital I had my thyroid removed 8 years later.
Ever since her diagnostic she has been taking us (two daughters) to get scans for the fear of the worst. I was 18 when they discovered a tiny nodule that was not yet a threat.
I had my biopsy done in Scotland in 2022, alone. I consider myself lucky that the nurse that was there was extremely nice. It helped me feel more calm and encouraged me to be strong, whilst at the same time validating my phobia of the needles and the unknown.
My biopsy was in November and I found out the results on National Romanian Day (1 December) that I had 10% of it being cancer. When my mum heard she contacted the hospital (in Romania) and found that her friend was a medical director at the respective hospital. Because of my family history, he recommended operating and was able to preform surgery on me 12 days later. After Christmas break I was back in Scotland as I tried to get back to the normal that I once knew. I found out that it was cancer around three weeks later, right after I turned 22.
I consider myself lucky again because everything had been so quick. Looking back, I didn't have time to process much of anything. But now that everything has calmed down I am left with the mental damage as an aftermath. I am still struggling however my therapy sessions with Cancer Support Scotland in Glasgow is a huge part of the reason why I am able to say that I am healing
My body was a little slow after surgery and after trying to find out what other treatment I need (turns out that surgery was it). It didn't help that I thought my friends and colleagues were judging me on how slow I was and leaving me behind. I couldn't enjoy the things I used to enjoy, like swimming because I wasn't able to swim like I used to and got angry because of it. I got remarks about my scar. I couldn't concentrate at university. Even now I can't seem to concentrate.
I have tried hiding my scar out of fear of the looks but the necklace that I used to cover it up with got heavy and I honestly couldn't wear it any more. So I decided the best thing was not to cover it up anymore. I think I still get the occasional look, even if people tell me they can't notice it- they can't fool me. It hasn't had time to heal. On the 2nd anniversary of my operation I want to get my scar tattooed.
I tend to bottle up my feelings in hopes I don't "bother" anyone. No one has made me feel this way but my mind keeps telling me that that's what I would be doing if I spoke about it. So as to not upset my mum or any other family member, I went to MacMillan when I was back in Scotland. I first searched the website and found that there were a lot of people that weren't my age going through what I was going through but they were at a different stage in life. They had husbands/wives and children, already successful in their careers but I felt so alone. So behind in life. I had to put a lot of my life on hold to deal with cancer. I didn't have a job and I was still in university. This is one of the reasons I am writing now, in case there is someone out there who might be in a similar situation as mine.
Even now, 7 months after the operation, I am dealing with the aftermath. However, I have become more confident in myself. Telling myself that if I got through a needle getting injected into my neck and not to mention that I battled with cancer, I can do anything. In April I was feeling so lost as I had no job but that all changed and I am now employed, earning my own money, I am about to finish my masters in about a months time and things are definitely starting to look up. I also feel closer to my mum and understand a whole lot more of what she has been through.
My life could never go back to how it was as I will always have to worry about it coming back. I also have to take Levothyroxine in the morning an hour before I can eat breakfast, which has been very hard to integrate it into my schedule. It is also a reminder of an experience that I would rather not be reminded of everyday for the rest of my life. I know that with time, however, all these thoughts and worries will go away
I think it's important to speak out and to tell your story in case it helps someone. If anyone who is going through anything similar wants to message me then feel free x
Hey lovely, i saw myself so much in your story. I am 23, diagnosed with thyroid cancer at 22 this April. So I was the same age as you! I find being diagnosed at such a young age is simply terrifying. As we aren’t meant to get unwell. We are meant to be fit and healthy and have all our life ahead of us. cancer is an “older person” disease, which we unfortunately know too well to be untrue. I am sorry you went through this, especially during university and being away from your family, I can’t imagine how tough it has and will be as you come out of this. It made me smile to read you are more confident now, and know you’re much more capable than you thought. You’re not fragile, and it’s human to be scared of needles and the unknown! I have health anxiety, so a cancer diagnosis also caused havoc for my mental health.
But a huge well done to your mum, pushing you both to get tested regularly as she also went through this too, im just happy they caught it and as each day goes by you’re closer to being free from it
but I don’t truly believe you ever will be free from it, as I’m also learning to carry around cancer and the scar that’s a memory of it all (my scar is ear to ear as my thyroid cancer spread to 30lymph nodes, it’s so hard to conceal a neck scar isn’t it, no matter the size!) embrace it. You’ve got this. Always here to chat, being the same age ️
