Husband

Hi, I’m so sorry to hear about your husbands diagnosis… it’s not a pleasant experience to be told about cancer. I myself was diagnosed with stomach cancer in November 2021… reality doesn’t sink in and all you think about is your loved ones on how they feel not yourself. My husband went to a Maggies centre a few times when I had hospital appointments and they helped by listening to him, he never told me what he discussed as I know deep down he was hurting. Macmillan have people you can talk too. When I was diagnosed I didn’t want to talk to anyone face to face so I spoke on here and also by phone to a local charity called CLAN cancer, it felt good talking to a stranger, so that might help you… 

We are here if you need any comfort or ask questions… 

Take care 

Michele 

Welcome to this group! I am sure you will find it helpful to share experiences with others who have gone through the same trauma as you and your husband.  It’s very frightening to be told you or someone you love has cancer but the important thing to hold on to is that it is curable and there is no spread. 

I had stomach cancer five years ago and had chemo and a partial gastrectomy.  Others in this group had a total gastrectomy. The treatment is tough but there is a lot of support from the medical team.  I now lead a normal life, eating and drinking much as before.  Chemo completely eradicated the cancer so do hold on to the positive that there’s a treatment plan. 

I found it helpful to get as much information as I could and the Oesophageal Patient Association was a good starting place.

https://opa.org.uk

Do post any questions you have.

Good luck and hope the first dose of chemo goes well next week!

Hi and thank you for replying. 

It's just a terrible time waiting for the treatment to start, he's waited now a couple of weeks whilst they waited for his last test results.  Its been torture.  

I'm excited, ( if excited is the right word) for the treatment to start, as, obviously,  we want him well again, BUT I'm also terrified of the chemo. He's a large tumour,  and we think they can't believe it hasn't spread,  but after  all the scans, a laproscopic operation to have a" look see, " and a stomach wash, thank the lord, it wasn't found anywhere.  

He's been told up to now by the surgeon,  that he's thinking a partial stomach removal with just a tiny bit of the food pipe removed,  which, is better than total removal.  But we'll see after the chemo. They've said chemo should shrink it, but sometimes it doesn't. 

He's had this stomach cancer for roughly 12 months,  with the GP saying at the beginning it was costochrontitis, but in april/may, had a weird experience one night in bed where we thought he'd had a seizer or a stroke and we called an ambulance who promptly took him to hospital and it was then after he'd told them about the pain, which he thought was in his chest all that time, that they decided to do a endoscopy, which then revealed the stomach cancer.  

It's in his upper stomach.  That's why the pain seemed to be in his chest. 

He was anemic,  and b12 deficient,  and blood in his stools. They've given him meds for that and the blood has stopped. 

Hospital Monday for picc line. Then Wednesday he starts the dreaded chemo. 

How are you doing now Vespa? And I hope your husband is doing well. 

Xx

Hi Jac, and thank you for replying. 

I'm so glad to hear your better, leading a normal life. Gives me hope for my OH. 

We never even imagined it was cancer, but who does. It was a massive shock. Even now, I can't helping thinking is this really happening.  

We'd just got our lives how we wanted it, after looking after family members over the years. It finally was 'our time' if you understand what I mean, and it just feels like everything has been ripped from us. 

What do they say....life's a bitch sometimes! 

I will look up those helpful websites you've mentioned when I've time, thank you. 

Hope your well. And thanks again. Xx

I totally agree with ‘excited’ as I was too and happy that it was going very quick with all the appointments etc… I had no symptoms apart from ibs flare ups, anemia and diagnosed with pernicious anaemia back in 2019… so the cancer could have started then (who knows). Because of my ibs flare ups I was advised to go for an endoscopy and colonoscopy, which is where they found diverticulitis and also a mass in my upper stomach (biopsies taken) I then had to have a CT scan a couple of weeks later. I was then phoned and told my results which was stage 4 signet ring cancer, as it had gone through the lining of my upper stomach. I had a laparoscopy and thankfully they found no spread. Then it was a rollercoaster ride of further appointments with the oncologist, picc line etc. I started FLOT chemo in December just days before Christmas. I had 4 rounds which wasn’t pleasant but you have plenty of support from the chemo Macmillan nurses, whenever you need it. Each person reacts differently to chemo, some are fine and have no or very little side effects.Then I had my stomach removed in April last year, 4 rounds of chemo from June, the side effects this time were milder…. my biopsies they took when I was operated on all came back normal. 
I started back to work in January part time as I work with children I had to be fit enough with my immunity. I eat normally now and I am fitter than I was before. I lost 3 stone in total, which has stabilised now for 9 months. I went for a scan yesterday so hopefully all is ok… the after care from the consultant still continues exceptionally good too. 
My husband had a few drams last November and he broke down with tears for the first time in that year as a relief that I’m ok and recovering… 

Im glad to hear to that all is well with your husband results with no further spread.  Sending big hugs to you both. 
Michele 

Hi musiclover, what a wonderful username! My husband was diagnosed last year (became unwell 7th june). He too had stage 3 with lymph node involvement. Its terrifying and the sun went out for us. Hower, he had chemo and wasn't too bad on it - he decorated the house and was still taking the dog out for long walks twice a day. He ended up having 6 sessions of chemo as his op was going to be delayed and the last 2 did take it out of him. However, he had partial gastrectomy in mid Jan with 18 lymph nodes taken out (7 showed cancer), but the margins were all clear. He recovered quickly from the op , sneakily nicking toast on the ward lol. Had another 2 sessions of chemo after, which were hard work, but was told by the surgeon and the oncologist that they got it all out. It is an awful journey, but he did it and I'm so proud of him! I wish you and ur husband all the best (BTW, we celebrated him getting through by getting married on 3rd june). Don't give up hope, there's so much they can do and the doctors have certainly given us a second chance at a wonderful life.

Take care xx

Hi.

Aww thank you for sharing your wonderful news Anna67.

I'm so glad to hear he's doing well.  And congratulations on getting married.  

It's a rollercoaster of emotions, and some days all I do is cry and fall to bits. Then the next day, I'm stronger again.  

He's to have his picc line in tomorrow,  then Wednesday  is the first chemo session.  

We're both terrified tbh.  But it has to be faced full on. Just hoping he doesn't suffer too much.

Thanks again for replying,  and I hope you enjoy every moment together. Make the most of every day. 

Sending best wishes and hugs. Xx

( hope he enjoyed that toast.!!) 

Hi musiclover,

The anticipation is awful isn't it? My other half was ok with the picc, in fact he loved the fact that it was there and they didn't have to go sticking needles in him all the time. The staff are very experienced at doing this and I think I was more petrified , waiting outside. 

All the feelings u are having are normal, how else could we feel when faced with this bastard disease?! I got into meditation apps to help me sleep as I was working and did my crying on the way to work in the car (god knows what the oncoming drivers thought seeing a scream masked woman heading their way ). I hope all goes well for you both. One step at a time is all we can do and pls let us know how u get on xx