Honesty needed

What a worry for you! I am so sorry to hear about your dad. The medical team do have to be honest about the risks but they wouldn’t do the surgery if it was too risky! 
All you can do is hold on to hope and show him how much you love and care for him.  
Do you have support from friends and family to help you? MacMillan provide great support and if you have a Maggie’s Centre near you then contact them. They really helped me and my family when I was going through treatment. 
Take care x

Thank you for the reply. I guess I just struggle with not having all the direct info from the surgeon like I did with my mum when she was going through treatment as I attended all of her appointments and I haven’t been given that option this time round. I’ll get in touch with Maggies. Thank you. 

I came to realise that the medical team don’t have all the answers! And some are better than others at giving you information! I went with a list of questions but inevitably came away with feeling there was always a BUT… somethings were always uncertain! 
I focused on what I could control and used the App Headspace to manage anxiety.  It taught me mindfulness techniques that really helped me to focus on the present!

I go back to it whenever I’m stressed or anxious! 

Are you sure he understands / reports the medical information correctly to you? Sorry to be so blunt, but you asked for honesty, and I find hard to believe that the surgeon would operate on such odds.
Could it be he was told that his risk is 30% higher than average?

He specifically said 30% but said it’s due to his pre-existing conditions that it’s very high risk. Basically if they don’t operate then he will die anyway so he said it’s a risk he wants to take. As far as him understanding the info that’s unknown which is part of the reason why it’s been so hard for me to cope this time round as I’m hearing all the info second hand. 

Hi, sorry to hear about your dad, I hope the surgery goes well, I had a sub total gastrectomy last year, it’s true they have to tell you all the risks, and thats terrifying. Sending hugs and thinking of you and your family 

Thank you. I hope you’re doing well since your surgery. No news on my dad yet and he’s been in surgery for 8 hours now so keeping my fingers firmly crossed

Oh bless you the waiting to hear is so so tough for loved ones. The surgeons are well trained and know what they’re doing I’m sure you’ll hear soon. Sending love and strength x

Oh do hope you get positive news soon and that the surgery has gone well! The waiting is agony! X

I’ve just had an update to say that the surgeon is happy with how it went. He’s in recovery now so I’m so thankful. Thanks to all of you for being my sounding board for the last couple of days. It just helps to say everything openly.