Petrified

Hi all, very new to the group and tbh I’ve spent the last 5 days a nervous wreck convincing myself the worst. 

I went to the gp as I had some urinary issues, the first gp was unconcerned and just ordered routine bloods which were all normal. I pushed for a psa as I was more concerned than them. 

for context I have a history of cancer In the family, no prostate but my mum was a brca carrier. I personally was never checked. I am only 43 so I wasn’t overly thinking about pc just yet, this could be my big mistake. 

Anyway, fast forward three days and my psa comes back at 5. I sat in the dr room and broke down, I immediately feared the worst. I’ve seen this play out over and over with my family down the years. I have a 5 and 6 year old and my mind just wanders to them been without daddy. 

so, the 2 week referal kicks in, I get a call the next day, Thursday gone, appt for mri booked sat(yesterday) pelvis and prostate. Follow up booked in for Tuesday next week, so from blood result to biopsy 6 days!  

since all this I’ve googled myself into oblivion, because I have severe hip osteoarthritis and recently was having back pain which the mri showed I had disc issues and a trapped nerve I now have myself convinced that I have met in the bones! 

I have basically diagnosed myself with pc that has spread across my pelvis and is likely to kill me within a year or two at best. 

I am an absolute nervous wreck, I am a single dad, I have no partner to fall back on, I have family that are supportive obviously but I feel alone a lot at the minute. I don’t know how to mentally cope with all this, been a dad and just getting on with life and I know the journey is only just beginning. 

im sorry that im going off on a tangent, you can probably tell how much of a wreck i am. 

thanks for listening either way, any support at all would be great, i feel I’ve no one to talk too atm.