Husband just been diagnosed

I’m so sorry you’re going through this. Right now you just need to wait for the MDT meeting on Thursday where the team of doctors will review his results. Once they officially rule out surveillance you and your husband will just need to look at the other two options which are surgical removal or radiotherapy. You’ll meet with the consultant again after Thursday to make that final decision. For now try to stay off Google at 2am because it’s only going to scare you more. Your husband is probably just shrugging it off because that’s his way of processing everything right now, so just take a deep breath and take it one step at a time together.

Definitely his way of processing it and as he keeps telling me,what will be will be and he'll just get through it! So wish I could be more like that but I need to know everything about everything that's happening! Think I'd feel better if we actually had appointment scheduled for after MDT meeting but he doesn't yet. Think in his mind he'll go down removal route, but that might change

"It sounds incredibly tough balancing his 'wait and see' approach with your need to know the facts. Since he is leaning toward removal but hasn't booked the follow-up, maybe you can ask if he'd mind you calling the coordinator to get a date secured. That way, your need for a plan is met, and he doesn't have to carry the stress of organizing it. What do you think? 

Hello AJH 

A warm welcome to the online Community, although I am so sorry to find you joining us.

Your husband is a typical man!! He's at that stage where he will continue to get on with life until treatment starts to kick in and then will realise he's got cancer!!

I think with a PSA of 15 Active Surveillance will be off the cards (the 9 out of 22 positive cores won't help), so that leaves surgery to remove or radiotherapy.It's important to remember this cancer and the possible side effects make it a "couples" cancer. There's also a third treatment - brachytherapy which would be suitable - it's probably not been offered because your NHS trust don't offer it - but if he's suitable then he can have it - he may have to travel.

My advice is to get a pen and paper (or a spreadsheet), list each treatment and the possible side effects as to how they would affect you BOTH. Use trusted sources for your information, Cancer research UK, Prostate Cancer UK and Macmillan (not Dr Google). I will start you off with 3 links:

Prostate Surgery to Remove.

Prostate Radiotherapy

Prostate Brachytherapy.

I hope this helps - remember it's his choice of treatment. Please feel free to ask any questions however trivial - there's plenty of help available on the group.

Best wishes - Brian.

I shall welcome you to our club room and say first that you’re not alone as the reply’s have already shown.

If you press the green computer keypad icon you can use your profile page to list your story as you go. Clearly you have some fast movements in the tests for a biopsy but the PSA and biopsy is not enough to get a good diagnosis. There’s scans of all denominations which help you all understand the cancer.

As Millibob has already said and I reiterate, this is a couples disease and you are as much in need of help as he. The first thing is that whether your hubby gets HT or not his masculinity is a war zone and it’s happening to you as much as he. This cancer is between you and only you two can work it out. But it’s happening to him and it will take ages for the shock to come out. Counselling is a great idea to think about. Talking to each other if it’s possible, but it’s a nightmare for you both.

The choice of treatments are not going to include AS as at his age something like HT needs to be considered to put the cancer to bed (for a while).

So go easy on the poor chap, his manhood is under threat and that’s something that’s just plain wrong.

Take care

Thank you 

Thank you for that. Pen/paper/ spreadsheet is a very good idea. Brachytherapy hasn't been mentioned yet but have done some reading up on it and it's on our list of questions!

Thank you again 

Thank you for reply. I perhaps should of said he has had MRI done, they resulted in needing the biopsy. HT hasn't been mentioned yet but is on our list of questions for next appointment. Am trying to convince him about counselling as I seriously think he needs to talk to someone,we probably both do!

Thanks again 

So sorry to hear your news. 
I agree with all the responses so far. Just a few things I would add. I was diagnosed in January this year at 54 I had no symptoms like many others it was a total shock. My PSA was 7.1.
When I was told I was given 3 options. AS - HIFU - Removal. I will be totally honest that as soon as I was told my mind instantly said in that moment that I should have it removed. I ended up deciding to have HIFU. I had surgery on 4th Feb and this week I’ve just had my 3month PSA and this is now 2.1.

I was given lots of information and went away to read all the nhs & macmillan packs I could read, I researched all the options and joined webinars with others in similar situation to me. Although radiotherapy & chemotherapy wasn’t one of the three I also met with this team to understand it and to see if I felt it was an option I may look to take. I was also informed about Maggie’s I haven’t been to them yet as on the day when I was told I felt overloaded with information.

I would also add that I recognised how tough this was for my wife she has been fantastic and actually from my view point I sometimes saw it as being harder for her than for me. Maybe others looking in saw that differently.  

Listen to everything you are told and make notes, if you are able to then go along to all the appointments together and also join webinars. Do as much research as you can.

Wishing you both all the very best. 

Thank you so much for your reply. Can I ask what your Gleason score was? Am wondering if that effects if HIFU is an option or not. They are discussing him today at their weekly mdt meeting,so am really hoping he gets called in tomorrow,not sure I can wait till next week. Luckily I am able to go along to his appointments and hear everything that is said, think if down to him I’d just get a watered down version!

Love that you recognise how tough all this is on your wife, I’ve read that before but not  actually heard someone say it. Hope she is doing ok? Also hope your treatment continues going in right direction.

once again thank you for replying