New here - Just saying hello

You should discuss this with your partner after the specialist nurse or specialist because there’s not one thing you mentioned that isn’t already on your horizon whatever treaty you have.

I’m not a doctor but on this site on this forum you will get better advice than me but try not to worry or rush your decision. prostate cancer is a snail of a cancer so don’t feel you should make a decision on this or that day. There’s loads to think about.

The is a partners disease too. This treatment whatever you choose will, yes Will, affect the both of you. The sex bit is profound and if it’s large on you horizon then you both need to weigh up the consequences of HT, surgery or radiotherapy or all of. The above, because they all have huge side effects and huge benefits too. But sex will be one thing that is going to be tested and your commitment to each other will need to be able to cope with a new normal coming your way. 

Surgery, you asked about surgery. You’re nervous, you’re not sure it’s right, but I’m sure you need to ask the professionals about your body because we are all different. We all think and feel and are internally different so think about the responses of others but you and your partner will need to decide.

It’s not all bad. Be positive. Trust your decision. Trust in the surgeon or your oncologist.

Take care

Good luck

Hello Simon (Simon B26 ) 

A warm welcome to the Macmillan Online Community although I am so sorry to find you joining us.

Yours is an interesting post so I need to divide my reply up.

Surgery - Not all outcomes from prostate surgery end up having all the issues you mention. Plenty of people who have surgery have a good outcome with full continence and sexual function being restored.

So I don't know enough about you to give you a full reply - I assume you have a prostate cancer diagnosis - do you have your latest PSA reading, Gleason Score and TNM Score from the MRI and Biopsy?

Have you seen an Oncologist as Well as a Surgeon?

There is a possibility that you may well be suitable for treatments other than surgery - let us have the information I have asked for above and I will be able to give you more information.

Simon B26 said:

I strongly believe that I would rather take my chance with prostate cancer

I am sure this isn't an answer to your issue - cancer doesn't tend to go away - it tends to slowly get worse, prostate cancer is always treatable but not always curable, the sooner you deal with it the better your life will be.

I look forward to hearing from you with the details I have asked for - as a group we can help you.

Best wishes - Brian.

Hi Simon

I understand what you are saying but presume that you would consider an alternative treatment, Radiotherapy being the obvious one.

What are your stats by the way

Best wishes 

Steve 

Hi Simon B26 , surgery is a big decision, but opting to do nothing is bigger.  I have a friend who’s husband initially went into denial that he had PCa.  He was scared about treatment and decided not to have any.  When he was in pain he opted for treatment but by then it was too late.

There are options other than surgery (and with similar outcomes), so surgery needs to be a conscious choice.  I fully understand your logic of not wanting the op.  Sadly all the options come with potential side effects, although none of us know in advance which we will get, but some are fairly certain.

Don’t feel pressured into making a decision.  Personally I would sit down and list the options and pro and cons of each option and try and decide which way to go. Although it is your decision, partners will be impacted by many of the side effects, so really it is a couples decision. If you need help, please ask any questions. 

Hi Simon

Apprehension before treatment is normal and you have a little time to look in a bit more detail at the options. I'm not a doctor but I'd strongly advise you not to "do nothing" unless you get medical advice to that effect. My uncle was diagnosed with pc at 59. He had delayed seeking treatment and was dead by the age of 61. My view and that of my partner was that it's better to be alive with the possibility of side effects. 

That said, I had a prostatectomy 3 years ago and have made a full recovery. I have friends who have had both surgery and HT/RT without long term side effects. The risks of side effects are different for the different treatments. As others have said, best to decide with your partner which you are most concerned about, in the context that you will have some for a short period of time but not necessarily long term.

Please feel free to ask me anything.

Cliff

Thank you very much for you honest reply.