Recently diagnosed T4N1M1b

Hello Yokatta  and welcome to this part of the group. I am a wife whose husband was diagnosed with advanced metastatic prostate cancer in July 2020 and has had to undergo a lot of therapy which takes a toll on both of us but it is something we chose to fight together. I admire your resilience and determination but the treatment for prostate cancer, particularly the hormone therapy, can come with side effects like loss of libido and erectile disfunction which can affect your relationship with your wife and leave her confused and worried if she doesn't know what is responsible for it. I have attached a link to a book which you can download for free which many find useful and I would encourage you to show it to your wife so that she can get a better understanding of what is happening as I don't think you are going to be able to keep your diagnosis to yourself for very long.

https://issuu.com/magazineproduction/docs/js_prostate_cancer_guide_for_patients_ezine

Staying as fit as possible, particularly with weight bearing exercises, will help with the side effects but you will also need to look after your penile health as the HT can cause shrinkage so have a word with your doctor to see if he recommends tablets and maybe a vacuum pump to help with blood flow if this is an area which is going to worry you. The HT can also cause bone thinning so many doctors recommend calcium and vitamin D supplements.

With your statistics can I ask if you have been put onto Triplet Therapy which is usually a combination of a HT injection, a tablet such as Darolutamide or Abiraterone+Prednisone along with 6 cycles of Docetaxel chemotherapy. This protocol is showing good results at keeping the cancer at bay for a time but is not curative. 

Please ask any questions and we will try to help but this is going to be a marathon and not a sprint. All the best for tomorrow and if you need any tips on what to expect from the chemotherapy then we have many who have been there, done that and worn the T shirt, including my husband who is due to start more cycles soon.

Thanks Always hope

My wife and daughter both know about my cancer, and my wife is also registered as having full access to the clinicians. It's just work who do know ... yet.

From my last cancer we learnt a lot, sometimes the hard way, about keeping people informed and managing relationships (especially our own), but our daughter was only a baby then.

Yes it is triplet therapy.

Many thanks for the link.

Wishing you and your husband the best.

Hi Yokatta , sorry to hear that you have rejoined the cancer club.  Prostate Cancer is a couples disease and unless you have a very good reason not to talk to your wife I would strongly urge you to do so.  Chemo is usually straight forward, but there can be side effects so having someone else aware is very useful.  I noticed that you used the word palliative and that reminded me of a post I made a few weeks back which might help The end - straight to palliative care! .  If you have any questions, please ask.  David

 Yokatta , apologies, just read your post to AH.  David

I think I need to amend my joining post. It's only work who I haven't told. My family and friends are all aware

No worries. I edited the original to make it clearer.

Great post. It engenders hope and captures the feelings...I had that exact same thought about Christmas 

I am glad that you have clarified 'who knows'. We have had a positive attitude from the start and this, along with our oncologists saying that they have more tools in the toolbox, has meant that we still have a good quality of life. Treatments have improved considerably since my husband's initial diagnosis and a lot of effort is going into further developments. Stay positive and all the best to you and your family.