Hi, newly signed up. Interested to hear the opinions and advice from others diagnosed with Prostate Cancer.

Hi Liz, children as young as 7 have a very good sense when something is wrong, they pick up on things very quickly and tend to keep what their feeling/thinking to themselves or between siblings.

Eddie xx 

Good morning Stevecam 

it is hard to share as my OH says “I don’t want sympathy, I’m still me “   We still have times we get really upset . Especially when we can’t sleep . Today we are knackered as we never slept last night who know why !!!! 

Take care 

Liz & OH xxx

Hi Rob_ 

We found it really difficult telling our grown up children aged 20and 24 at that time. We put it off for months. There was never a good time as they were both at uni. Hard to pick the moment. We planned what we would say as we knew they would both be really upset, we planned to use words like “very treatable’ “slow growing” basically stick to the positives,  in your case the treatment you will have and how you are not worried about it. When it came to it we were all together and BW just blurted out “I have cancer” and all hell let loose and I had to wade in with the damage control plan ! Once we had finished talking, even when we were talking they both immediately got on their phones and started scrolling for information. If you google PC It usually says : slow growing, very treatable etc and it mirrored what we had said. We then said,”dad was fine, we waited this long because we needed to know that it was going to be ok before we told you”. Telling them wasn’t as bad as we feared, we purposely didn’t say the whole story in BW’s case as it will evolve over time, as and when. it’s amazing watching your children cope with something like adults. It will be fine. 
L

Liz, that was one of the reasons it was so hard to share with others.  The standard reply was "Oh I'm sorry to hear that."

I think I am guilty of saying something like that before.

It's not knowing what to say in reply if you've never been through it.

My empathy levels now are through the roof.

Both of you have a few drams tonight before you both go to bed.

Hi Cip

forgive me for not knowing what BPH is.

 I’m leaning towards surgery in the hope of removing the cancer completely. As I understand it (and please correct me if I’m wrong) a prostatectomy should remove the prostate and any cancer cells within if the cancer is localised.

Radiotherapy is considered very effective also but I believe if it wasn’t 100% successful you don’t then have the option of surgery.

it seems I have equal suitability for both treatments so just need to decide….

whilst not at all looking forward to the inevitable continence issues following surgery I feel it may be my preferred option 

thanks for taking the time to respond 

R

Rob, I think you are correct in your summary, but remember neither surgery or RT has a 100% success rate.  I don’t know what the stats for each are, but over the years RT has progressed significantly with more precise targeting.  Hopefully someone might have the appropriate stats for recurrence with each treatment. David

Hey Rob,

Thanks for your reply. BPH is benign hyperplasia or enlarged prostate. I am also leaning towards surgery.

Wishing you all the best,

Cip

Hi L (BarryW)

thanks for your support. It’s very difficult isn’t it to have to conceal hospital correspondence and abruptly switch conversations.

Our daughter is an only child so there’s always been the three of us and we are very close. As I’ve said she is 20 and at university doing very well and we are so proud of her. 
My wife and I have not told her so as not to add to pressures of deadlines.

hope to find the right time soon 

Hi again Rob_ 

you and your wife  will know when it’s the right time to tell your daughter.  What you need to consider is that someone will see you at a PC clinic and may say to her .  However, her education is very important to you & your wife . 
You both will find the right time to tell her . 

Take care both of you 

Liz & OH xxx
 

Hi all

thanks for all the encouragement in these posts. I’m due to meet the surgeon tomorrow and I hope that I will feel comfortable and confident to proceed with surgery. I have had conversations with some close friends who have known people who have had surgery and they seem pretty sure that’s the best option. I haven’t spoken with anyone who has had RT and no doubt there are those who would advocate that route. But it feels like flipping a coin. If both options have very good success rates and similar side effects it’s a difficult call. 
I hope I feel able to proceed with surgery after tomorrow’s meeting with the surgeon. That in itself will be a relief.

Rob