My partner 47 diagnosed with advanced prostate cancer.

Hello - I am on the M40 returning home from London but I have just read your post.

Prostate Cancer UK have specialist nurses on 0800 074 8383 Monday to Friday 9-5. They are great.

Our support line number is at the bottom of my signature strip.

if you want a chat off line my message box is open - you don’t need a friend request.

Best wishes - Brian.

Thank you I do appreciate no one is medical and cannot offer me that on this chat forum. I just feel writing my feelings on here is letting some of my worries and uncertainty out of my system. My OH is not wanting to tell anyone just yet so I don't have that support yet. My work colleges know and I am seeking support from macmillan nurses and GPs in my practice. I feel I am having a wobble day. I was fine until I saw the letters when we got home from the hospital. I do also appreciate your offer to PM too that's very kind. 

Thanks Orvy x

 Orvy , you can always come back on here with any problems.  We have all been through this stage and know just what you are going through.  We can’t take away your pain and stress but we can share our experiences of surviving this awful time.  Our common message is that it does get better.  Take care, love and virtual hugs.  David

 Orvy a wobble day is good as it helps to process everything. I must admit it seems a bit much to receive the results through the post so no wonder you are in shock. But I guess it’s on paper so you can relook at it and process what it says in your own time. Do you have an appointment to see anyone yet? It may be an idea to start a list of things that you want to ask about, treatment, choices, ask is there anything you can do yourself ie: exercise to toughen up bones, supplements like calcium and vitamin D,  should your partner take them? what do they recommend for bone health. Spend some time looking at bios from people here and see if there’s any questions that come from this or you may want to ask about. knowledge is power, the more you understand about this cancer the more in control you will feel. Try to channel the feeling of panic into being proactive, this way  you will be able to support your partner with ideas and answers. This is what got me through the first few weeks and months, I became very knowledgeable and asked a lot of questions at appointments. It really helped 

x 

Hi Orvy,

I am so sorry I only now seen your post and your struggles. Jacob, my husband diagnosed 9 months ago with a very similar diagnosis to your partner. I know exactly where you are at the moment and the dark fear and total shock of the diagnosis.

9 months on and Jacob doing really well. His PSA dropped to less than 0.01 which is in other words undetectable. We live life to the full. He is very active, swimming every day and just stepped in from planting new plants in the garden. He swim, walk, cook and look after our grand children. Currently, we are planning our holiday in September. I am telling you all this because THERE IS LIFE WITH TREATABLE CANCER. He become a much better man after diagnosis, more soft and gentle.

True, the fatigue is not nice ( caused by the HT) but is tolerable and he managed it with an afternoon nap and physical activity. From time to time my heart stop with fear again but then I look at him and how strong he is and all the men in this community and I shake the fear away. 

Orvy, trust me, you will feel so much better when the full treatment start and day to day take over.  Advanced PC  is one of the NHS strength so trust your oncologist  team.

Lots of love

Dafna

 jacobanddafna I knew you would have a good answer, glad you are both doing well xxx

Lorraine xx  

Hello Orvy 

Back to the grim north now after watching my team win 1 -0 at Wealdstone!! A grand day out!!

Once you have digested the diagnosis and you have a treatment plan life WILL settle down to your new regime. It's hard at first, we have all been there and we know what those first "dark days" are like. "Prostate Cancer" fills every waking second.

Trust me, with the help of this Community you will get there - no questions are taboo and whilst I agree none of us are medically trained - most of us have been through the mill and can answer any questions you may have.

Don't sit there with questions going round and round in your head - write them down and post them on here - you will get honest answers from folk who have "been there - done that" (Please stay away from Dr Google!!).

We are all walking this journey with you.

Best wishes - Brian.

I did notice Lorrainre (MrBW) mentioned our "Ask a Nurse" service. Here's the link to it:

Ask a Nurse 

They are busy at present so please allow 2/3 days for any questions to be answered.

Best wishes - Brian.

Hello Orvy, wobble days are allowed! I can see that everyone here is rallying around to stop you falling right over! I hope the lovely replies show you that you are not alone in all this - we have all had the bad times too and understand what you’re going through. Hang on in there - as everyone says, it does get easier:) you are not alone!

Millibob Alwayshope David2017 excavator  Hibbie Irish Terrier BW Worriedwife Prostate Worrier. jacobanddafna eddiel  Hello, I hope I haven't missed anyone. I just wanted to say a huge thank you for the warm welcome and great support. I am struggling to write a reply to everyone at the moment. My head is not in right place at the moment. There's been a lot that has happened in the past 12 months and things were starting to settle before this shocking news came to us. It's all hit me at once and then the worry with the next tests/results and will treatment work. It won't be forever, I'll get back up again. I'll just celebrate the little wins for now like our day trip to Warwick Castle as a family of 3. 

Thanks again Orvy xx