Robotic surgery

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Hi. Just saying hello and thank you for this forum. My husband 60 had a PSA test 5.5, PRADs 4. Biopsy multiple Gleason 3+3 in all parts of prostrate. He’s opted for robotic surgery. Op is in May.

 I’m worried about post op complications. My husband has decided he doesn’t want anyone to know his diagnosis so we are keeping it from our adult children. Im grateful to have somewhere to turn for support.

  • Hello WifeWinnie an a warm welcome to the forum, I went down the radiotherapy and hormone therapy route as surgery was not an option for me, though i know many of the guys on here have had surgery and will be happy to share their experiences with you. I know we are all different and your choices are yours to make, but telling my kids, all in their mid 30s, was important for me, and brought us even closer, best wishes with the surgery, take care.


  • Hello   Another warm welcome to the online Prostate Community from me. I am sorry to find you here.

    I see you have already posted on another thread so you are already "at home" here. I can understand your husbands decision not to tell your adult children at present and I respect it  it's his choice. On a personal note we have 4 adult children and once I had my diagnosis we made the choice to tell them everything. The support from them, their partners and grandchildren was epic and helped me through my journey to where I am today.

    My only thought is - your children will find out at some point - why not confide in them now - if you have boys, they do need to know as they will be more at risk as it runs in families! - The more help you and your husband have - the better off you will be - but it's only my view.

    We as a Community are here for your support - ask anything however trivial, you will get answers.

    I wish you both well on this journey.

    Best wishes - Brian.

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  • Hi Wife Winnie

    Welcome to our prostate family it's great to meet you today.

    I'm nearly into my 12mnts since diagnosis at the beginning my PSA was 1000+ and my outlook wasn't very good.

    They put me onto Hormone Therapy (Injections and Tablets) and I have taken too them like a "Duck to Water"

    My PSA is now down to 0.2 which is great news and everyone is shocked and surprised including my consultant.

    I do hope that more of the other members will soon be in touch to share their many trials and tribulations!!!!

    Please please let me know if there is anything else that I can help/support you with??

    Prostate Worrier.

  • Hi I’ve got Gleason 3+4 and I have opted for the robotic surgery at the Christie. I’m worried about the side effects as they sound grim. I also have mild Crohn’s disease as well. I’m 63 so young compared to a lot. I hope he is getting his head round it and that you are too. 

  • Hi Tesla68 and welcome, sorry to hear you have prostate cancer and Crohn's as well. so understandable you have chosen surgery, I think most treatments for PCa can have some grim side effects, though not everyone will get them or be hit hard by them. Didn't have surgery myself and did ok regarding side effects, I know many guys on the forum went for surgery and I'm sure they will share their experiences with you, take care.


    • Hi Tesla. Thanks for your reply.  It is  worrying the uncertainty of after the op. Good luck with your surgery.  Do you have a date? I hope all goes well.  We are doing our best to  get on with life as normal and try not to think too much about it. Difficult.
  • Hi WifeWinnie. I had a robotic prostatectomy 7 weeks ago and kept both my adult children (28,30) informed from MRI scan onwards. They were very supportive and made sure I stayed optimistic throughout the process whilst being aware of different potential outcomes. 

    I don’t know your family dynamic but if you are concerned with ‘worrying them’, you might find that they would rather be fully informed as you would want to be if the situation was reversed. You will probably need to tell them at some point and they may feel denied of the opportunity to offer help if you leave it until a later point in the process. 

    As far as side effects go, I seem to be fairly typical inasmuch as I have minor incontinence which is improving all the time with pelvic floor exercises. I aim to be watertight in a couple of months if I can. ED is the other issue but I/we choose living a life over anything. We are just back from a mini break in the UK and enjoyed it with no issues.
    Your husband is more fortunate (I know it doesn’t seem like it) than all the guys that go undiagnosed and he is on a path aiming for a full recovery. I think once you understand and accept the situation you will feel calmer - and you will get there by talking about it, rather than the opposite.
    I wish you the very best on your journey to recovery - this forum is a gold mine of information and support and helped me immensely. 
  • Hi WifeWinnie

    I had the op last November and I recovered very quickly from the surgery. I don't remember having to resort to much pain relief.  After 6 weeks I was back to being able to tackle normal tasks within reason.  I've had 2 PSA tests since November and both were <0.01 so the cancer has gone and long may it remain so.  After 6 months the only complication is that I am totally incontinent.  However, I have appointments in line to discuss having an Artificial Urinary Sphincter fitted.  My consultant wanted me to wait 12 months before he would countenance such a move but I persevered and forced the issue.  Unbelievably, today was my first appointment with the Continence Clinic in order to get NHS support for getting pads on prescription (only 4 a day but it's something).  My advice is to find out what's out there and be proactive in getting what you need.  This Forum is a good place to start.  Wishing your husband all the best and talking about it is vital to realising he's not alone.  I've been surprised just how many of my friends have been through the same journey. 

  • Hi Amnesiac. Thank you for taking the time to share your experiences. I really appreciate it.  If it were me I’m pretty sure I’d tell family but my husband is adamant he doesn’t want them to know at the moment. He may change his mind further down the line. It’s encouraging to read that you felt up to taking a mini break after just 7 weeks. Wishing you all the best.

  • Hi Huffie. Sorry to read of your incontinence issues. I hope you get the support you need to improve this. Thank you for taking the time to share your experiences so far.  Your PSA results are very good news.  I hope you get the support you need. :)