I’m not sure what to think or say?

Good morning Mr U.

And a very warm welcome to this exclusive club. I love your positivity and it is exactly what is needed to deal with this.

I think you have summarised how we all feel about being on death row very well both as those with cancer and their family or friends. No matter how much we try and put it to the back of our minds it is always there, particularly when we have blood tests or in my husband's case routine scans as he is on the treatable T4 route rather than the curable route (a friend of ours nicknamed it scanxiety).

The emotions can be a difficult one to deal with and are so unpredictable. We say it has brought out the feminine side in hubby but has meant that he has had to have medication for it which has really helped, so don't be afraid to get support if you need it, either with therapy or medication. It seems to be the one side effect of the hormone therapy that has to be dealt with for the whole time of it's course and for a time beyond but at least as you are on the curable route there is an end in sight.

It is great that you have a supportive Mrs U as this is very much a couples journey. Going through this has brought my husband and myself closer together but it is a strain for me as well at times, and so give your wife extra hugs and kisses and make sure that she is OK.

This is very much our community which tries to support each other when we are down or looking for information but also likes to celebrate the successes with each other. We go off piste at times and can have a real laugh - check out the latest posts on the Christmas and New Year thread thanks to Worried Wife. Come back with any questions no matter how small but also look forward to your contributions to help others.

I will return the Christmas wishes to you and yours and hope that 2024 is less traumatic for you.

Great reply.

Mrs U has taken a few hits this year but as you have found too, we have bonded so thoroughly over this possible misery it’s become a massive advantage. I’ll qualify that. It’s made me especially realise her importance to me despite the cancer. We are teenagers in love again and hug and hold hands the whole time, to the embarrassment of our grown kids.

Making the most of each day is now the norm and enjoyed by us both.

Where would I be without her?

Scanxiety I don’t get yet, but I can see where you’re coming from. My monthly checks and quarterly scans are no off pat. I’m very comfy with the attention and thus far happy with the results. All of these appointments are dates. Where Mrs U and I can snuggle and enjoy what is for some agonising and stressful. But Mrs U, like you, is and shows stress sometimes. Our friends are the key to our sanity right now.

Hang in there. I will.

I already miss Mrs U even after our 36 years together this time is going too fast.

I will have a gander around the site eventually, but I already feel better that I can throw up some of the feelings rattling around my skull and get a little benefit in lightening my load.

Alwayshope, don’t carry too much on your back or you’ll hurt yourself.

Mr U

Good Morning Mr U . A warm welcome to the Prostate online Community.

I could have written your post myself - I am 2 years into a 3 year journey on Hormone Therapy - it's a strange one I know where you are coming from. Your body changes, your emotions are all over the place and little things start to matter!

You say the million dollar question is - "how long have I got".  I am a Gleason 9 and my mindset is totally different - I am thankful for what I have and everyday is a bonus. If I was to be run over by a bus tomorrow - I have enjoyed my family and life to the full!!

Don't worry about the future - live life to the best of your ability - you are on a curative treatment path - you just need to grasp at the 20% of life you are missing and enjoy life to the full 100% - I know I am doing.

You sound very positive and have Mrs U and a great family - dig deep - find the 20% you are missing and grab 2024 by the balls and have the best year ever

Stick with us Alwayshope above has written a fantastic post - and remember we are here for you - you are not alone on this journey.

Best wishes - Brian.

AW thank you Mr U.

Our prostate journey has been going on for over 3 years and thanks to the excellent medical help we have a good quality of life. I will never forget the oncologists first words to us was that he could do 50%, the other 50% was up to us in having a positive attitude and with lifestyle changes. We have embraced this to the full. I hope that you will find this community as supportive as I have.

Hi Mr U,

My husband diagnosed only 4 weeks ago with bones etc so the sky was fallen down for few days. I have joined this community and the first 3 days I just checked the profiles of all the people with similar diagnostic to see when they were diagnosed and what to expect in terms of how long - as you put in: death row. Then I started to get messages from the wonderful people in this community and my understanding  of the issue increased somewhat. The HT 2nd generation that most of us getting is only came to market in full force 14 months ago so who know what will be available in a couple of years? So I dumped the death row thoughts and concentrate, as you put it on living life and enjoying what we have.

It is wonderful that you are in great shape and enjoying your life!

Have a wonderful Christmas and brilliant 2024

Lots of love from Brighton

Dafna

The 50% patient 50% medication is a great way of looking at survival and life. I’m tired of the pills when I get a new full canister of chemo but delighted when it’s nearly empty.

I do feel as if I have a broader feminine side with the hormone treatment but it’s doing me good inside so I’ll live with the skin deep emotions and embrace my new me.

Nice to hear from a local. It’s natural to seek out similarities and finish lines but we humans are so clearly so different inside.

Hope and love is the best medicine and I get that in spades from my family and is as good as the pills for me.

Mrs U researches, I ignore. She’s a swan in water, serine above the waterline but a rush of activity underneath. We talk infrequently about the cancer but are stuck like glue together in this episode of life’s drama.

keep swimming together and enjoy the scenery as you go.

good luck