Prostate Cancer - Wife

Former Member
Former Member
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My hubby was diagnosed with prostate cancer last week and it has hit us hard. Hubby is 55yrs, I'm 50. We have six children, with three children still living at home aged 16, 14 and 13.

The consultant who gave us the diagnosis was awful. As we sat down to hear the results of my husband's biopsy, the first thing he said was..... 'right we have the results of your biopsy and with this type of cancer we recommend surgery'! We both sat there mute and in shock thinking .... what?....wait!...what cancer?....slow down! but he was talking so fast we couldn't get a word in edgeways. After about 5 minutes he ushered us out of the room and said 'the nurse will explain more'. We left the room following the nurse like lost sheep. I must admit the nurse did a better job at explaining but when you're in shock, it's hard to digest everything. 

There was a lot of information to take in. My husband's PSA is 14, (the consultant said that's high but when I pursued this forum i'm seeing people with psa's of over 100). His MRA scored 3 (whatever that means) and his Gleason is 9. 


We have young children to break the news to but how can we when we're not sure what's going on? (our older children now know).

Moving forward, we are at the 'staging' point. My husband had a bone scan, 3D scan and CT scan of his head yesterday. He has another scan on Sunday to see if it has spread to his lymph nodes. They will then call us in to discuss treatment. They have offered him the choice of having either a prostatectomy or RT but recommended the surgery because of his age.

My husband wants to go for the surgery and i'm happy to go with his decision but that was based on the short conversation we had with the Nurse. From the leaflets and information I've read both will have lasting effects. Sorry to be graphic but we're both relatively young-ish with a healthy sex life....OMG!! The possibility of ED or incontinence is scary. In saying that, I'd rather him take the treatment and be here for many years to come, as opposed to having a rocking sex life for a few years and then him to succumb to cancer because he didn't take the treatment offered.

So many thoughts, so many hurdles, so many decisions...... THIS IS TOUGH GUYS.... i'm not gonna lie, this is tough.

  • Oh, one other thing.  I am meeting a friend and his wife for lunch in a couple of days.  He is in remission, but needing hormone treatment ongoing after chemotherapy. He’s younger than me, and they have only been married a short while (wedding photos still on recent Facebook pages, etc).  His initial PSA reading, taken earlier this year was 2,016.  Yes, that’s the figure, not the date. So don’t panic - the treatment, with a low PSA Gleason 9 caught early, has an excellent chance of complete cure. Once he’s on the ongoing PSA blood tests post treatment, for many years he should be safer than a man who has never tested.