HT no longer works

Hi

To be told those horrible words there’s nothing we can do, is the last thing anyone wants to hear, I have to say my wife is dreading that. 
I know because of your dads heart surgery, things could not progress as much as the oncologist team would have liked, I do not know of the hospital he was attending for his PC, but have you tried another ? There are a lot of trials going on, has any been offered ? 
All cancer teams know when they see certain things that help is beyond them, so I would definitely ask about any trials. Just give your dad a cuddle from all of us, he’s still with you so make the most of everything you do together.

stay safe

Joe

Hi Joe,

I had so much hope after he came out of heart surgery that the HT would work again, but it just didn't. We are situated in Northern Ireland so I don't think there are many oncology units, we had been attending the one in Belfast. He hasn't been offered any trials and he wasn't even offered chemo as they didn't want to deteriorate his quality of life more than it needed to be. I'm just heartbroken because he's so young. He always had a fear of hospitals and literally lay at home ill during the first lockdown because he was scared of covid and hospitals more than ever. Part of me wishes he hadn't left it so long before going to hospital, there may have been a chance it hadn't of spread. I'm heartbroken. It's been quite comforting reading everyone's story however, it doesn't make me feel as alone as I think I am. 

Thank you for your words, I appreciate it,

Emma

,

I am so sorry to hear your news and I’m heartbroken for you both. You are so young to be going through this and I would recommend you ask your GP to refer you to MacMillan and you can also call the helpline number on here… you will get through this and anger is all part of grief and shock.. your feelings of being robbed are so painful but sadly very common among us because cancer is so cruel. 
presumably coming off HT to receive life saving treatment could’ve allowed cancer to progress behind the scenes. I’m so sorry for your situation and I hope you both get the kindness and support of the many groups here. Much love to you lovely xx

Hi Emma

My daughters name is Emma, I was born just outside Belfast jordenstown, my father was the same, it was found to late, same as my wife’s mum scared of hospitals, it’s a mental thing that if you go in what they might find and do. 
There are lots of family that write on here, with some terrible stories, finding some comfort from us who try to help give advice, where we can, we’re not doctors but have been through different treatments or know of people have and from that we pass on information.

Personally I’ve gone through lots and lots of appointments scans X-rays staying in hospital for various things, I just smile and carry on, doing my best to keep my ever worrying wife cheerful. 
I would definitely ask McMillan nurses to pay him a visit, they are professional at these things, much more than us you will find the number on this sight, or at the hospital.

Take care

Joe

I just feel robbed of my dad. Like it's just him and I at home, and I feel robbed and not ready to lose him. Yes I am going to get counselling, I need it for the anger. Yes they said the 4 months he was off the HT allowed to cancer to get stronger. Thank you for being so kind, it means a lot xx

Hi i have so much empathy for you and your father. Im lost what to say but stay strong for you both. X

Daveyboyz

Thank you, I think most people don't know what to say. Even I don't. His consultant told him he has never came across a case like my ddad before where the heart surgery had to happen (my dad was given 5 days to live due to the heart failure). I just wanted some time with him and I just feel cheated x

You need the support as much as your father. Take care and always come here to talk on this forum. 

I am so sorry for your news.

Try to make the most you can with every day you get with your dad, make good memories to look back on.

All the best

Keith 

dont give up , there's stuff out there that can help .

think outside the box just because they have sent him home to die doesnt mean he has to !!!

whoever told u zygita only works for a year doesn't know what they are talking about , i've been on it 30 months already and theres people on here been on it for 5/6 yrs !!!