Hello all, just venting

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Hello to everybody here. I’m probably about to join this club, so just wanted to come on here and vent a bit and ask for a bit of advice. I’m currently 63 years of age with a family history of Cancer....15 years ago started having a few urinary problems so at the advice of the wife (it’s always the wife isn’t it?) went to the doc. Finger up bum, PSA of 1.2 everything  seemed OK....Left well  enough alone until 2014 when the nighttime getting up became a nuisance....Went back to the doc, this time PSA 3.0 DRE OK doc suggested 6 months checks....fast forward to June 2016 when PSA jumped from 3.1 to 7.5.....NHS was very good and fast tracked me (not before I freaked out a bit and went to a private clinic in Harley St where a world renowned expert gave me the finger and re did the PSA.....Now 4.5 and said no cancer).....I would have happily left it there, but I was now “in the system” so next thing was a cystoscopy (no bladder cancer) MRI Pirads 4 (something is up) 12 core biopsy....Nothing found.....Transperineal saturation biopsy 30 plus samples....still nothing found....This was over the course of about 4 very stressful months and needless to say I was happy to be told that the biopsies had come up “clean” (I did ask the Uro what were the chances of a false negative but he kind of shrugged it off).....6 monthly testing and PSA remained fairly stable....In 2018 was called to the hospital for another MRI....This time Pirads 3 (better)....New man in charge suggests I should carry on getting tested every 6 months and that as I have a prostate of 70ml he wouldn’t worry until my PSA went over 10 (I am well aware of PSA velocity and wouldn’t have ever allowed it to get there unless by slow progression).....He offered me a Holep operation as he said this would improve my piddling problems.....I went home and read up on it and noticed that there was some chance of impotence and incontinence so that when the time came in late 2018 I declined it (Which May have been a big mistake)....Back in July I had PSA done and this time 8.4 from a 4.8 previous.....Told the Doc that I’d “been here before” with readings jumping up, so suggested another reading in 6 weeks....This time 14.8 Uh Oh. Now been fast tracked yet again and am currently waiting for an MRI and back on the PC treadmill.....Since getting this great news I’ve been having some new hip, back and groin pain (I’m hoping it’s my overactive imagination but I don’t think so). I’m now terrified that 5 years ago I did indeed have a low grade cancer that was missed and has now had another 5 years to do its thing and has now become stage 4 (hence the pain). Also beating myself up because I now find that Holep often picks up cancer in the abated tissue, hence It could have been discovered 3 years ago. Sorry about the length of this, just trying to get all the info in. Any advice while I’m waiting and getting myself into a lather? And anyone else had the pains that turned out to not mean anything.

many thanks.  Tony