Erectile disfunction

Hello Kenco65 

Welcome to the Online Community although I am so sorry to find you joining us.

I still have 95% of my prostate (the NHS keep taking bits!) however here's a link to some information you may find helpful:

Sex life-and prostate cancer.

It it's affecting you mentally please do call our Support Line on 0808 808 00 00 (8am to 8pm 7 days a week, hours may vary over the Easter break) - they can help you.

The general cancer group has this thread which you may find helpful as others talk about how cancer has affected their sex life:

 Sex and cancer - Let's talk 

I hope the above helps.

Best wishes - Brian.

Thank you for this information I’ll take a look!

Many people after surgery face erectile dysfunction and this affects not only physically, but also psychologically. Often it helps to go to the doctor and the selection of treatment, as well as the support of a partner and an open conversation about the problem. It is important to give yourself time, because recovery can be gradual and everyone's experience is different

I am nearly two years post op and my op was non-nerve sparing.  As such, I will always have ED and fully expect to never get an erection again.  I know there is a tiny percentage chance that I might be wrong, but for my own mental health I do not think about that.  I did seek help from the NHS ED clinic but frankly the help was very poor quality.  They took me through how to inject myself to get an erection but then messed up my prescription such that it took too long to get further shots and in the meantime I decided with my wife that it was just not for us.  I did get a pump but no advice on how to use it for anything but looking after my penis.  I did eventually figure out how to apply a cock right via the pump and that was a wonderful step forward.  However, it is a faff and we save that for special occasions.

From very early after the op we started to explore our sex life via non-penetrative love making and frankly that is amazing and we both love this approach.  There is no fiddling around with cock rings or injections; just straight forward fun.  It takes a bit of a mind shift but in the end it is wonderful.

How long did it take you to get the pump? My husband had prostectamy 4 weeks ago and has no sensation. He is still awaiting his appointment for 8 weeks check up but I am worried the longer he waits without the pump,the longer it will take to help get an erection if at all? 

It depends on the Trust but I got mine at about 3 months.  I got an erection first use of the pump but it took a while before I figured out how to get a ring on the outside of the tube and how to snap it in place then we were able to have full sex.  We didn't wait for the pump and my wonderful wife took matters into her own hands from the day I got home.  Initially I didn't have that much sensation either but its now fine.  Be warned his orgasms may be different in sensation.  Mine are longer and more intense.

I wanted to encourage anyone reading this thread to see post op as the chance to explore and enjoy.  While a pump will help there are other ways.  In another thread, I discussed one of the joys we have discovered.  I regularly use a hollow dildo in a strap.  I have a couple of different dildos with one being much bigger than I had been pre-op.  It is a fantasy we both enjoy sometimes.  Another is more or less the same size as I was pre-op and that is our most used one.  I purchased all these items from Amazon, so don't feel you have to go to a sex shop.  If you dig around you will find the details of exactly the fantasy one as I have posted it on here.

Honestly, you can make sex as exciting as when you were young if you just get over that maybe you might never get erect again.  Enjoy life, don't let cancer spoil it!

I was given mine after I had my Catheter out so I would contact urology department that’s who gave me mine

I am now three and a half years on after RP and saw a Consultant this week who said that only 8% regain normal function. I have found the level of NHS support pretty poor in Scotland and I have had to do my own research to understand options for Penile Implants- satisfaction rates (no pun) are extremely high for those that go down this route. The inflatable ones are very natural in appearance and feel. But if you’re thinking about going down this route, ask for a referral early on as you can always change your mind. Waiting lists for this are classed as none urgent so go onto the general Urology list, which for me is a 92 week wait. That is just to see a consultant and then once they agree to place you on the surgery list you can be waiting as long again. That’s as much as 3 or 4 years, so ask for a referral early is my advice.

Thank you for your words of encouragement.  I am grateful for all the advice you have given and now gives us both hope and  something to look forward to. I, too have been giving a helping hand to get his sensation back which is working and we also have invested in one of those vibrating hollow sleeves which seems to help with vibrations to give him sensation. My husband is slowly getting back more sensation which is good and has eliminating some fear. Emotionally we are feeling better and not worrying as much. It is good for our mental health to see sensation getting back . Cancer will not beat us. Thank you

my husband has been told he should get it about 6 weeks after op. we are in 4th week and chased but still no appointment. We have been told the one and only consultant is on annual leave and he will have to wait till he comes back for the appointment as he needs training to use it. He ha his 8 week check up on 14th May but this appointment can not give him the pump. I, too am worried the longer he leaves it, the longer it will take to recover. NHS are useless, why can they not have another consultant to take over when the one and only is on holiday for a month at a time?! same as my physio at my medical centre, I am in excruciating pain but have to wait a month for an appointment as physio is on a months holiday and there is no one to take over! get  rid of  some chiefs and get more staff!