Why are all the medical team women. do they really understand what men are going through

Hi ClubLeeds , interesting and I don’t know the answers but here are my thoughts.

I can’t quite remember when I lost my desire for sex but it wasn’t the amazing surprise I thought it would be.  The HT not only took my ability to have an erection but also my desire to have one.  After 3 months on HT you are proof that we are all different and perhaps the inability to answer your questions (by me and all your team) shows that there isn’t a standard reaction and we all react differently.  None of us on here are medically trained so we can usually only give an answer based on our own experiences and what we have picked up along the way.  My own thoughts are

1. That if you continue to have erections they will become dry.

2. No.

3. Not a clue.  
Others will hopefully be along to give their own thoughts.  David

Good Afternoon ClubLeeds 

A warm welcome to our exclusive club. I am sure you will find it to be helpful and informative - particularly as over 50% of the group are ladies.

Although my original consultant who was amazing was a man - my entire team are ladies who are very professional with a fantastic knowledge of prostate cancer. The care and attention I have received is second to none and if I had to give them a review it would be 5. I can't see how having female NHS staff on urology and oncology has affected my journey - yes I have lost my dignity but I am still here to talk about it!

in answer to your 3 questions

* Yes.

* No

* What ever floats your boat!

My desire is for life - living it, with quality and I still have it thanks to the lovely ladies at The Christie in Manchester and my desire for life far, far outweighs my desire for sex.

I have been supported throughout my entire journey by by my wife, my team and the members of this Community - and as I have said many of them ladies.

It's the care support and knowledge that count - for me it's life over sex anytime.

Best wishes - Brian.

Ok, so this is what I found after RT was over in 2017.

Def orgasm's dry or nearly but orgasm' itself probably slightly better than before, I have read other people say that as well, not sure why.

Can't answer to No 3 afraid 

Any stats available for better advice, IE, PSA , Gleeson, MRI report?

Best wishes 

Steve 

Thanks for your reply, I understand your comments about been alive, for me sex is a really big part of been alive, I know where all different, but i have always has a high labedo , You say like over sex same here or i would just wait for treatment but life without sex, is it worth living ? 

As a woman ClubLeeds ,

when I was undergoing gynae issues it was always men. All I could think of is going to cure me even when my dignity was at my feet 

And more than likely your woman consultant is very professional and sympathetic towards you and your condition. 

My OH was embarrassed when he had the digit test and biopsies by a male medic. So I don’t think it would make any difference of gender. 

we all need to be thankful for the medical experts who are currently overwhelmed by the amount of men being diagnosed recently. 

hope all goes well for you 

Liz & OH xx

Hello ClubLeeds 

ClubLeeds said:

but life without sex, is it worth living ? 

100% - life is good - if you read my journey (by clicking on my name or avatar) you will see I almost lost mine in 2021. You will see I am needle phobic and also have had a TURP operation where my prostate was "shaved" by a consultant working through my penis whilst I was awake having had a spinal injection.

I have had 3 years on Hormone Therapy - no sex, no erections - and indeed no thoughts about sex!! Yes we have had fun in the bedroom and other places too but seeing my adult children and grandchildren grow and prosper - YES life without sex is fantastic.

As I write this I have just come in from my balcony in Turkey after a lovely sunny day and life is good . I completed my 3 years Hormone Therapy in December 2024 and I don't need a Testosterone Test to tell me it's back!!

Yes I am 10 years older than you and perhaps nearer the end of my life than you - but I tell you what - in those days when I wondered if I would pull through, life looked something to aim for.

For me at least - and I consider I had a normal "sex drive" (whatever that is) life is by far more important - however at the end it's down to personal choice.

Best wishes - Brian.

ClubLeeds said:

but life without sex, is it worth living ? 

In my view yes, no doubt!  David

"..but life without sex, is it worth living ?" 

Having been there a couple of times, in my opinion most definitely yes (especially this morning as I sit in the garden of our rented holiday home in Tucson, Arizona watching the hummingbirds feeding on the flowers, where it's sunny and 80F at 9.20am!)

So here's a thought.

First off, most of the staff are women because it is a caring profession and men do not volunteer for those so much. I don't know why. I really hope that it is not because we think it would be beneath us.

Fortunately, as you have already found there are plenty of men on here willing to answer experience.

I am really lucky because my wife and I had already confronted the issue of sex because she had some medical issues. So, when my erectile became dysfunctional my libido had already gene walk about. I had a "who cares" moment and got right on with life.

When I was having.radiotherapy, these was a male radiographer easing my backside into place so that the dots lined up. He apologised for having cold hands. I said to him that he was trying to cure me of cancer and I really didn't care about cold hands, or anything else they were doing.

It occurred to me that was true. I had read all about it, I knew exactly what I was these for, and I resolved to be the most co-operative patient they ever had.

It seemed to help.

Ask here for questions only men can answer, and then you will find it easier to help the people try to cure you to do their job.

Life without sex still goes on. I always thought myself as highly sexual so with my choice of a prostatectomy I was well aware there would be changes. At 67 for me to lose my libido was just as shocking as if it happened at 30. I have been sexually active in some shape or form practically ever day since my first  experienced at 14. When discussing this with my partner she was very direct saying any deficits no matter how drastic,  were better than the alternativ.

I am now 6 weeks post op. I have ED but by using vibratory stimulation I do achieve orgasm. This is dry , no precum or ejaculate but just as intense as before if not better at times. I didn't wait too long and began stimulation, as advised by the surgeon, as soon after the catheter was removed as possible.

As my wife very succintly puts it, at least you are above ground.