Friend got his diagnosis today that it is prostate cancer how do me and my husband support him through this time he has no family near by we are his only source of help
Hello Friendcarer and welcome to the group. At the moment I expect your friend is frightened about what the future holds for them. Some men don't want to talk about it, others want to discuss it so just be open to what they want. How prostate cancer is treated can vary from just monitoring it (active surveillance) to more radical treatment of hormone therapy and possibly radiotherapy or chemotherapy depending on what type of prostate cancer he has. For lower grade cancers he may have to make a decision on whether he wants surgery or radiotherapy so there is a lot of information to find out before you know what level of support he might need in both the near and long term. The one thing you can do is encourage him to be as active as possible because this helps to combat the side effects of treatments. There could also be some tweaks to diet which can help such as having caffeine free drinks and limiting foods with animal fats but making sure that he maintains a healthy and varied diet. If you can find out a bit more about which possible treatments are being recommended then we can help explain what will be involved. One good statistic is that 98% of men die with prostate cancer, not of it. Plus even if radical treatment is necessary it is still possible to maintain a good quality of life.
Hi Friendcarer , as AH has already said your friend will be scared, so any support you can give will be really helpful. If you can find out the diagnosis we can help. Please come back if you have any questions. David
I was at his appointment with him today they told him he can either do radiotherapy or surgery to remove the whole prostate plus lymph nodes and the nerve endings he’s decided to go through with surgery I think I might call his nurse and ask some more questions both our heads were a bit frazzled by the end of the appointment even though the dr explained it all very well
So it looks as if he is on the curative pathway but with lymph node involvement and whether it is nerve sparing will have a greater potential for erectile disfunction and incontinence as a side effect with the surgery option. I have attached a link to a book which you can download for free which explains the diagnostic process as well as what treatments are available. I suggest your friend makes a list of what the side effects are with the different treatments and then prioritises which are important to him, and more importantly what he can live with long term. If you read the book you will see that there are other options but some are not mentioned by the experts during consultation because that particular health authority may not have the facilities to offer it but they should be able to refer him elsewhere if he is suitable for it.
Prostate cancer is usually slow growing so he should take his time and speak to an oncologist as well as a surgeon before he makes any decision. The staging of the cancer -TNM, the Gleason score from the biopsy, initial PSA, age and type of prostate cancer all impact the treatment options but if you need help understanding any of it then just ask and we will try and help.
Mentally it can be difficult but help is available if your friend wants it and we can point you in the direction of how to access it.
It is always a lot to take in and process at the start. Have a look on the Prostate Cancer UK website and look at their prostate cancer" toolkit" folder of pamphlets. It tells you all about the first steps after diagnosis although practises may differ from hospital to hospital and consultant to consultant it gives a good idea of the process and what happens next. You can view on line and also if necessary get in contact with the Specialist Prostate cancer nurses with any queries - they were absolutely brilliant with us and we often called them when unable to contact anyone at the hospital or cancer centre. It is a free phone number 0800 074 8383 and the lines are open Mon, Tue, Thur and Friday from 9am to 6 pm and on Wednesdays 10 am - 8pm.
If there is a Maggie's Cancer Centre near you find out if they have a Prostate Cancer group meeting there - they usually do and provide lots of help in accessing help and benefits as well so contact them and try and get your friend to go there and share experiences with the other men I'm sure you will be welcome to go along too.
Any questions there is usually some one here who can answer for you and has had a similar experience.
