P C Wife b

Good morning Caroline and Ray. This is not the news you wanted but you have a good plan now. The tablets are probably Bicalutamide which are taken to stop the initial testosterone flare which happens when some types of injection are initially given. The tablets start working VERY quickly to stop the cancer from getting at its food and should bring the PSA down or stabilise it. The injection works in a different way to stop testosterone production and is usually very good at bringing PSA levels down. Ray will have to have the injection every 12 weeks so keeping a record of when it is due is useful as it is important to have it on time. The next stage is the radiotherapy which is the killing cancer bit and has been proven to be very effective. The radiotherapy is usually given once the hormone therapy has done its initial job of bringing the PSA down and shrinking the tumour and should happen in 3 to 6 months time. 

I know you have been feeling helpless but now is your time to do your bit by encouraging him to optimise his diet. There are some tweaks which can help with the side effects from the hormone therapy like reducing caffeine and alcohol, limiting animal fat and avoiding processed foods, eat plenty of fruit and vegetables, reducing sugar and salt. I know everyone keeps banging on about it but exercise is important. One thing that mustn't be forgotten is your health as this is very much a couples illness and you need to stay strong both physically and mentally. The one thing my husband and I have found is that we have become much closer and stronger working as a couple to deal with whatever is thrown at us by this disease and have learnt that being able to talk openly about it with each other and our friends really helps.

We know what you are going through but please believe me that things do get better and you will learn to live with a new norm.

Hello Caroline, just to reassure you….

your tears are a natural human reaction to emotion and nothing to be ashamed of. You sound very much like me and, if so, I think you would have cried even if you had been told, like we were, that there was no spread to the bones ( my husband had an MRI and a bone scan only )

the second most important thing is that you now know exactly where you stand. You can take back control of your lives and plan how you are going to deal with the the treatment plan etc 

next - prostate cancer is ‘liveable with’! Yes, it lurks in the recesses of our brains but keep it firmly there and get on with living life to the full! As I said to my husband, there’s a lot of us walking around probably with undiagnosed cancer. His has been found and treated. He, in some respects, is one of the lucky ones and not one of the unlucky ones who are delivered a prognosis of just a few weeks! Prostate cancer is curable if detected early enough and manageable and controlled for a good long if there has spread outside of the prostate. There are more and more sophisticated treatments coming down the track.

i hope you will soon find that your emotions will settle. My tears did eventually more or less stop! I find I am more sensitive to and empathetic with other people’s physical and emotional pain and distress these days and think that’s because I have to some extent ‘felt the fear’ myself. I cry at sad tv scenes or sad bits of books! Never did that before! But, I think this actually makes me a better, not worse, person?

Take care of yourself, too! Have coffee with your friends, chat, laugh, enjoy days out, buy new clothes etc etc … let life go on for you both:)

Good luck and I hope all goes well <hug>

Hello Caroline & Ray (Caroline1957) 

Another warm welcome to the Macmillan Online Prostate Cancer Community from me. I am so sorry to find you here but this is a great place for help and advice.

You have had a couple of great replies above, all I can add is that I was where you are now 33 months ago. You can read my journey to date by clicking on my name or avatar - I did have issues but life is slowly getting back to normal now.

It helps us to help you if we know more about you an I would encourage you to update your profile (it will also be a reminder for you of your journey). to do this on your home page click on the chair (top right) then "Profile" then "Edit". Once you have written something don'r forget to press "save".

We as a Community are here for you and are happy to answer any questions - however trivial - it's hard a first but believe me - it gets easier.

Best wishes - Brian.

Caroline ( Caroline1957 ) not the result you wanted but at least you now know.  Just to help us to get a clearer picture, do you know your OH’s staging.  They will be along the lines of a Gleason score and a TNM and PSA, this will help us work out his start point.  I have had RT and chemo and understand where you are at present.  It will get better although it is a rollercoaster of a journey.  Best wishes, David

Hi Caroline.  I’m so sorry that the results were not as you hoped. Feeling tearful and scared is perfectly natural and we all react in different ways

as others have said as the treatment progresses you will find yourselves getting used to a new normal 

We certainly appreciate the smaller things in life that give enjoyment

Sending empathy and hugs. X